This was taken the last day of exams, after my Pharmacology paper. Supposed to be a 2004-G12 meet but Martin was off to Alex and Cindy had a paper that afternoon.

I'm tired now, but i cant sleep. Maybe a good long workout is what i need. Oops, have to remember to pack for the trip. Until Friday...take care all!

Kaddish

Supposed to meet up with my sister for lunch, but changes last minute when she called at church to say she doesnt feel like Friendlys. So off with Eunice! Hehe... great catch up! It was so sunny outside but the winds were so so cold. And Eunice didnt wear socks! Argh! I wanted to show her this rock melon ice-cream at GMart and we ended up getting one each. Hehe... the hand holding the ice-cream was frozen by the time we got to Meridian. Martin stopped by in the afternoon while waiting for Marcus to finish their G12 downstairs in my flat. Hahaha... we've got a few things up our sleeves. Hint: birthdays

The best thing about being the middle child is that wherever i go, i have at least one sibling with me. =)

Paul's just left for the gym with Nadia and i'm still waiting for Chia to come home to pick out more X-Files episodes for me to watch. We watched two last night: Triangle and Kaddish. I was all in tears after Kaddish. It expressed that deep and geniune longing of a person, so pure and kind, that i wondered if it was too much just to grant her the wish of her fiance. When she said "I belong to my beloved, and my beloved belong to me", that was IT. My eyes were all blotchy and nose running when the all-too-famous X-files theme song played when the credits came up, and when Chia asked "It was good, aye?" to answer chokingly "Yeah...*sniff sniff*..that was a pretty *tears threatening to spill again* good...yeah..."

Eunice and flatmates on road trip....for good, safe trip and heaps of fun. Amen.

There can be miracles when you believe - Prince of Egypt

My shopping stamina has deteriorated and i dont know how to bring it back up. =S Went to watch Mr & Mrs Smith night before last night with Maryam, Lye Funn and Barbara. It was SO SO SO COOL! I didnt close my eyes at all throughout the movie (which is a great improvement..trust me!) and actually came out of Hoyts wanting to go back in again. Hehe... I'm no big fan of Brad Pitt nor Angelina Jolie but i think they played their roles well. The puns they used...were so so ingenious and cute.

Most of my coursemates have left for home, Christchurch, Wellington, Hamilton.. and so it's mostly just me, me and more of me. Just finished a bowl of strawberries for brunch and now going out with my sister and AC. Uncle Then is going to teach us how to make noodles tonight! YAY!

The heart has its seasons in which season know nothing - Blaise Pascal (from Someone Like You)

It's one of those moments when everything around you seem perfect. No one else matters, nothing else matters. The feeling that whatever happens and whenever it happens, it's ok. You've got that stronghold. The pillar that always stands. Just a hand or an arm reassures that even if the world falls apart, it will never let go. You share the happy moments, and pull through sad times. There's that understanding of talking without having to say anything, listening when no one speaks. I guess sometimes i want to live in a fairy tale. Maybe it's the fear that the miracle will not happen twice in your life. Yes, i am human.

Five down, zero to go...

It's all finished. Actually finished. Someone pinch me and tell me it's not a dream..

For the first time in a month, i'm going to sleep without the thought at the back of my mind that the alarm is set for 5am, 6am, 7am.... I'm going to sleep and sleep and sleep. Haha...and see what time i wake up tomorrow. =P *bubbling excitement*

Ruth gave me the best ever shoulder massage today! H-E-A-V-E-N! =)

Thank you, Lord, for being MY God..

Rhema

I hate this feeling...a part of me knowing what i have to do, and at the same time i dont want to face tomorrow. Last paper..Pharmacology and i still have a bit to cover. Memory memory memory.. I'm frustrated, i'm tired, i want to pass... I've hit a low point here. I just want to cry all the time and just for the sake of it. I hate this feeling. i loathe it when i allow myself to be pulled down and away from Him. I'm not going to be pulled down. I - AM - NOT! I'm climbing up again. I'm embraced by His grace. I'm going to make it because all things are possible in Him! I'm going to study and make the most of my night. 14 hours to go. And in 17 hours, my holidays starts. YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *can you feel the excitement???*

There is a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow. And i'm diving into MY pot of gold. MY rhema "Proverbs 3:5-6"

My new found joy. No matter what happens, God still loves me.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6

My favourite poem..

The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


The weather is beautiful as today. And i've got a date with my Pharmacology notes. Man... I NEED motivation!!!!!!!!

Four down, one to go...

My brain didnt want to start sending neuronal signals this morning. Neither did my body to move. My eyelids didnt want to open. The only part that DID function though, was my right hand pointing finger, which did it's duty, sure and faithfully, of switching off the alarm when it rang at 6am. *Thank you, faithful little finger. You have served me well.*

I love meeting with Him everyday, especially when i've just woken up in the wee hours of the morning. He is my Rock and my salvation. I will lean on no other. Th blessing of a peaceful slumber, even if it's only for 3 hours, can only come from one source.

A big cheer-me-up was a little anonymous gift from Australia. Actually, it's not that little. =) And i have a feeling, real hard gut feeling, i know who it is from as well. THANK YOU SO MUCH! How did you get your timing so good?? My fettish for cross-stitch.. I tried studying for Monday's exam when i got home. I could look but could not see. Out of that half an hour of trying to study, i only remember one word. Serotonin. *fullstop* How pathetic is that.

Went out for lunch with Chia and Evie at KFC. Waaa....first time in KFC for 4 years. It was nice to have fried chicken for a change, and though personally i think KFC cooked food better when i used to go 10 years ago. Oh well, it was good just to take a walk and listen to my sister talk about parasites. *ugh* Hehe... It would be nice to walk to the gardens today, but my entire lower back hurts a lot. I dont know why. I think i might need to visit a physiotherapist..

I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. - Psalm 4:8

Three down, two to go...

Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extingushes the small, it kindles the great ~ Comte de Bussy-Rabutin

I'm tired. The lack of sleep and non-stop routine of studying is starting to take a toll on me.

Tough paper ='( But i'm not going to think about it anymore. I've vented out my frustrations in an email to daddy already. Feel much better.

Going to walk through town, aimlessly, breathing in the cold air and thinking about.... *nothing* I just bought a new knitting book and it's got this really cute pattern for a sleeveless shirt. Hehe. =) Will probably stop by the knitting shop to and choose a pretty colour. That always brightens my day. *tingling feeling*

Change of plans to study today. Since it's not wet, i'll walk to the Botannical Gardens, plant my bottom on my favourite spot of grass and read my lecture notes there. Fresh air is very good!

The Lord is my sheperd, i shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. -Psalm 23:1-3

Two down, three to go...

Tomorrow - Adventures in an Uncertain World - Bradley Greive

Almost halfway there...Exam was "do-able". Wrote everything i could think of..filled the pages, but whether it's the right stuff or not, i cant be 100% sure. But glad that i had enough time, and the MCQ's were okay. =)

Do you ever get one of those days when everything that's said and done is just plain silly and cracks you up all the time? Hehe...just last Thursday, my sister and i were on the way home from the gym. And honestly, she's really one of a kind. I can act silly and speak nonsense with her and just have so much fun! It's a two-way thing, and as the conversation goes on, the sillier it becomes and the more we laugh. I was practically doubling over from laughing by the time we reached Albany Street Pharmacy. I'm going to really really miss her when she leaves for home at the end of the year. =( Who will make me laugh the way she does? Or act silly and all i can do is shake my head and roll my eyes and yet deep down inside, laughter cant wait to bubble... I had one year without her when i was in Form 5, and i remember how much i'd spend (and her) to call each other. The phone bill shot through the roof that year. I'm not going to think about not having her around. We've still got half a year right??? =P Who knows what craaaa-zy concoction of words, actions and facial expressions we'd conjure by then.

Hehe... animal cruelty. Actually, it should be 'soft toy animals' cruelty. Sorry guys...you're too small to go on the bed. =P

One down, four to go...

And if you're wondering, i'm not going to talk about my Saturday paper.

Had a really good time at homegroup last night. I wasnt supposed to be there ( or so i thought ), but i'm glad i went. We celebrated Jacob's, Jennifer's and Paul's birthday last night. It was amazing, just seeing everyone mix and 'match' (pun intended) last night. The kids were with the older ones, and the older ones with the even older ones..hehe. I remember how different it was when i first joined homegroup. Just one year and so much has changed. I believe God's going to do miracles in and through the amazing people here. =) B performed a song too! So cool! It was his one-year anniversary in Dunedin. *applause*

He's granted me peace and i'm grateful.

If i rise on the wings of the dawn, if i settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. - Psalm 139:9-10

The Incredible Truth About Motherhood - Bradley Trevor Greive

It warms the heart and feeds the soul.

Head bent, hair tied back,
glasses adjusted, back to work.
Hot water bottle, polar fleece blanket,
heater on full blast, alert.

Clock is ticking, soft music playing,
sun is setting, dinner time.
No appetite, rather study,
a few more days, i'll be fine.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. -Psalm 51:10

Pink power

Washed my pink bunny bedroom slippers. Finally got that little brown stain off one ear. Must be a coffee stain.I passed Dispensing!!!!! *happy* We went up to the 3rd year's notice board on 5th floor. We were supposed to see Dr Mikov and Dr Saville regarding some questions and ho ho ho... that was also on 5th floor. I tried to walk past the notice board without looking but i guess the temptation was too great. Looking for my ID number, i'd prepared myself just in case. But thank you Lord, next to it was "PASS". =)

So so so cold today. Seems as though i'd be in my room for a very very very long time. The cold air doesnt do my nose any good...and i'm about to finish a box of tissues already! =S Hmm..should go to New World and get another one tomorrow. Reluctantly, i resorted to pseudoephedrine this morning and good, though it only took effect around evening time, i can smell what i'm eating now. =) Food is good...

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart, i have overcome the world. - John 16:33

From Paul's b'day dinner

Pictures from Paul's early birthday dinner on Friday. Top left: the 3 musketteers. Top right: P and i. Bottom left: Food food..glorious food! Bottom right: AC (pulling a face), best-big-sister-ever and P with cake. Took 3 hours to bake that cake but it's worth it. Afterall, it's P's last 'teen' birthday!! =)

Two is company

My sister and AC walked to Civic Videos in South Dunedin just now. It took about 2 hours altogether, around an hour one-way. My first response was "WHAT??!!" It was funny, when she described to me how they had to defrost with a mocha from BP on their way back. "Our noses were frozen, fingertips non-existent and splitting headaches from the cold." I laughed when she said that, though couldnt help but think how different it is when you're walking with that someone. Two is company, and i guess it doesnt really matter where you're going or for how long you're walking.

It's cold....around 3 degrees C outside at the moment. I've been cooped in my room for most of the day, except when i went out to Alice's for accountability and lunch (thanks Ming! :D). My nose isnt cooperating with me but my throat's much better. YAY. Appetite has come back as well, finally, after that feel-like-spewing-when-look-at-food episode over the weekend. Ugh.

*anxious* Dispensing results will be out tomorrow... =S

Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is your heart will be also. - Luke 12:32-35

Thank you

Thank you for B, thank you for J, thank you for S!!! I cant love you guys enough!!! How can i ever thank you ? =D You guys are AWESOME!

Just when you think you've hit rock bottom and all you want to do is to curl up in bed and isolate yourself from everything, God puts people in your life to remind you of His grace and His faithfulness. It's like that Beatles song "Dont Ever Change" - I love you when you're happy, i love you when you're blue, i love you when you're mad at me, so how can i get tired of you... Last night was just amazing.

So it's preparing for exams now. Just 10 days throughout exam period and by His grace i will pull through. He's given me the vision and hope. He's put me here for a reason.

Social Pharmacy - 11th June
Pharmacokinetics - 13th June
Pathology - 15th June
Drug Delivery - 17th June
Pharmacology - 20th June

HOLIDAY! Lots of sleep, gym, jogs, Botannical Gardens, ice-skating, catch-up with friends over coffee or lunch, movies *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*, spending time with the One and Only.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out all fear. ~1 John 14:18

Snow...

WOW....did you see the snow this morning? It was sooooo cool!!! I woke up and as tempted as it was to snuggle back into bed, i knew it was time to get up and do some study after quiet time. I could only hear the hail outside, but looking out....snow!!!!!!!! Dunedin was so quiet, the streets so empty that i felt as though i was the only person up and about at 7am. No one to share my enthusiasm with, except Him. Looking into the house next door, someone had lit the fire. So warm, so comforting. The contrast, dancing flames and still snow.

Walking out to lectures took twice the usual time as i had to slowly shuffle down the 'hill' down to the road without going 'uh....oh.....*splat*. I forgot to wear my gloves, and by the time i reached Pharmacy School, my fingers that were holding the umbrella were numb and frost-bitten. i felt as though i'd held ice cubes in my hand all the way! :)

We had steamboat to 'pre-celebrate' P's 19th birthday which is actually on Wednesday. YUM.... So much food leftover. I'm stuffed...and the not-so-good thing, i cant study on a full stomach. :S

Better get back to studying. The guilt is setting in...

I'm not stressed

I'm not stressed...yet. But the more people tell me 'dont stress', the more inclined i am to be! I need motivation, and it doesnt help when they said 'dont stress'. Sure i understand where they're coming from, but when i'm not stressed, it makes me think.."so i'm supposed to be stressed?" But being stressed doesnt help me the least bit to study better.

Walking back from the gym, i saw the cutest couple. Hand in hand, looking as though they didnt feel the cold at all. And wait wait...the cutest part...the guy had a bag slung across his left arm. No, it wasnt just any bag..it was a pink bag! Bright pink. Man, for a guy to do something like that....so sweet! It's quite a sacrifice, i must say, but when you love a person that much, i guess he must think it's worth it to put down some of that natural and normal male pride that he's been born with. My sister calls that 'hen-pecked', some people may call that 'gay', but to me, that's just plain S-W-E-E-T. I remember when U did something really silly in public just because i had dared him to..it meant a lot to me then though i tried not to show it. All i could do was laugh.. =D

My wish came true! Uncle Then lit the fire when we were there during dinner time and so i huddled around it. So warm! It felt so good.