random thoughts...

I think the New Year mood is dissipating... slowly... gradually. Pineapple and lantern home decorations are being packed away again. It's that time of the year where all the lights and hoohas dim.

Madam Sim is taking the littlies class after i leave. Actually, she's going to start taking the class next week and i'll just assist. Encik Mustafa's Daniel has joined the class. He's been real good. Didnt cry at all. There's quite a bit to catch up on, after all, he's 1 month behind. But he knows A, B and C. And that's half the work accomplished cos we've just learnt A, B, C, D, E and O. Sometimes, when the littlies are bent over, concentrating on the curves and straights of repetitively writing alphabets...a....a.....a....a, i think of myself and where they are. From Mum, Sesame Street and my kindy teacher, Miss Jeanie getting the ball rolling with ABCs to where things are now. How when i look at them, see them struggle with their round 'a's and that straight bit at the end, i wish i could hold their hand and guide them through every letter. When i first started, i amused myself with the thought that i'd be able to teach 2 at once. Since if left-handed Carey sat on the left, and right-handed Iffah sat on the right, i'd be able to hold two hands at one time. But i guess it's about standing up and being independent. One step at a time. One alphabet at a time.

How she'd tuck my hair behind my ear, making sure that she pronounces every - single - word perfectly with the rounding of her mouth, just to whisper "May I go to the toilet please?"

Mum said that i have to tell the children that i'm leaving soon. That they'd be 'prepared'? I dont like this part. And to promise them that i'd see them again at the end of the year. But will i come back this year? *sigh* Lord, i trust You'll show me the way, when the time comes. After graduation, job searching, "where will i be", what happens after that... where do i go, what do i do? I do hope that i can come home, even if it's for a little while. Then we can do a bit of shopping in Sg! Woohooo..... But that's all quite far away. Hmm.. not really, actually. It'll be knocking at the doorstep before you can say Fiddlesticks.

This is the first holiday that i've been able to play a bit more of my part spiritually. I pray that this will keep up in Dunedin. To be grateful...

Eccl 5:20 "He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart."

Thank you God that my stomach is still intact. After one whole day of a sore tummy. Nature's Tea... here i come!

I find myself climbing into bed wide awake, but it's already late. I toss and i turn. Pull the duvet over my head. I close my eyes tightly. Turn onto my side, onto my back, onto my stomach. Bury my head in my pillow. I cant sleep and i dont know what's exactly on my mind. It's a mumble jumble of random things. Random thoughts...