Knick knackers

This is an article in the Readers' Digest that i found very interesting and rolling with laughter. Enjoy. :D

Richard Glover challenged listeners to his Australian radio show to spot holes in the English language and then find the perfect label to fill them. There are words that should exist, but don’t.

Edgehog (edj’ hog) n.
A train or bus passenger who hogs the aisle seat so you have to climb over them to get to a vacant spot.
(also yobstacle, AisleBeRightMate)

Eyesberg (eyz’ burg) n.
The icy look a teenage boy gives his mother when he wants her to stop talking to his girlfriend
(also offpeek, frigidglare)

Hope couture (howp’ ku toor) n.
The item of clothing you keep for years in vain hope you might fit back into it someday.
(also wishfits, martin-luthers, as in “I have a dream…”)

Lovestuck (luhv’ stuk)
The moment on a first date when both people want to make a move but are scared of a knockback and as a result, nothing happens.
(also pre-sensual tension, ankissipation)

Knack-nicker (nak’ nik ah) n.
Someone who cant leave a hotel room without taking every single tea bag, sugar sachet, complimentary shampoo etc
(also artful lodger, kleptomarriott)

tearerist (te rah’ ryst) n.
A person in the cinema who seems to take ages to unwrap their sweets or open their chips, then eats then one by one, oblivious to the noise.
(also tornmentor, weapon of multiplex distraction)

moanotone (mown o’ toen) n.
The faltering voice you use when you ring work to tell them you’re sick.
(also argghccent, phlegmbellishment)

tortune (tor’ tyoon) n.
A catchy yet awful song that you just cant get our of your head, even after hearing it played just once
(also ABBAration)

veriflycation (veri fly kay’ shun) n.
That involuntary movement of checking the fly made by all men as they re-enter a public place after leaving the bathroom.
(also heflex action)

Knack-Nickers, Unite by Richard Glover. Readers’ Digest July 2005

I think my vocabulary has just been extended. :P