Why why why cont....

Birthday card display...thanks people!


I spent a few minutes after gym yesterday to put up the birthday cards i've received. They're beautiful.

As you can tell from the title of this blog entry, it's another one of those days. Alice's job offer is in Timaru for next year. I know this sounds ridiculously selfish, but does Alice really have to go? *sigh* Another person i'm going to miss...

Why why why? Why another? Family, friend and now mentor! What next... :'( I feel like throwing a tantrum, stomping my feet on the and shouting "No no no!", crossing my arms and childishly protesting "I dont want!" I know i cant do any of that, it's plain irrational and immature. But you know, so often nowadays i feel exactly that way.

I must learn to accept again, what i cant change. It has happened for a reason and i'm not going to oppose it (not that i can anyway :P). Now i have to make more flat-for-next-year decisions. I'm tired of thinking thinking thinking and making the decision. I've got to pray more about this. Will it be okay if i live away from Paul? No, it's not good, and i want to be with family. Yet at the same time, i want to live close to Grange, close to church, not in a place that holds so many memories that i have to live with and yet cant do anything to change it. What if someone stays in Chia's room and i unconciously walk in thinking that she's still there? Or wait for the knock on the wall that signals "Goodnight" from Claire? No more "Hey Wayne, let's go New World?" or "Stella...nice legs!"

When will i soar with You above the storm?