Footprints That Never Fade

gone

2009-01-27T20:51:00.001+13:00

Some footprints just have to fade...

2009-01-24T23:13:00.003+13:00

Chute, if you want all the bridesmaids to have long hair, i'll leave mine long. If not, i'll go get the Chop.

I realise that sometimes when i feel sad, i laugh a lot. And then maybe, just maybe, i wont feel sad anymore. You're not here to talk to. I miss you very much. A lesson to learn that when you make a decision, you've gotta stick to it. If not, it would have been better to have never even try in the first place. Like a house on sand. This is the last tear i'll shed.

Me wee little bro is all grown up now

2008-12-06T16:10:00.005+13:00

i'm so proud of you, Paulie!

It's been another good day today. I thank God for all that He has always been there and will continue to be. Paul's now a kicking, thriving, working physiotherapist and i'm still absorbing it all in. He's all grown up now!! I'm excited. Can i continue to have all the massages after work? Prease prease? :D

And cos i just couldnt help it, Daniel, here's a bit of dejavu for you :)

2005 - the kid inside

2008 - the slightly manlier version :P

to you

2008-11-30T10:06:00.000+13:00

Happy 24th Ruth :D!!

To a friend that's true. Thank you for being such a blessing in my life.

let's call it a holiday

2008-11-29T23:57:00.003+13:00

i'm stopping to breathe.

i had fun tonight. i hope you did too. you've rekindled my fire to travel again. now all i need is the ka-ching but more importantly someone to travel with. oh the sights, the smells, so much of the world to see and so little time!

i miss you. i miss hanging out with you, just going on random walks. praying. i'm tired of always seeing the back of you. but i believe one day it'll be back to those days again.

and you. i will be missing you. i think i do already even though you're still in the country. nothing can substitute the years we've had together. the good and the bad we've been through. thank you for accepting my flaws and still loving me as you do. i cherish this friendship.

and as for you, the first of us 3. i cannot express how elated i am to hear of your big day. :) and priviledged to be called to be a part of it. I cant wait for that day. i promise i'll try not to cry and ruin the mascara.

as for me, my pillow beckons.

nites.

*lights out*

tricicle

2008-10-07T22:26:00.002+13:00

Otago Festival of the Arts presents

Tricicle

Spanish trio out to amuse, enthuse and bemuse
and amuse they did!
If you want to laugh your wee hearts out at full grown men
running after a ginormous beach ball
clad in nothing but a big pair of diapers
Tricicle's the place to go!

i need to remember

2008-10-06T22:17:00.004+13:00

Overcoming family problems

Receive your blessing - Matthew 4:17
Redefine your family - Mark 3:35
Reconsider your expectations - Luke 21:16
Reserve your judgement - Galatians 1:18-19

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me..
I cant do this alone

Cate to McGowan's

2008-10-06T21:17:00.002+13:00

After work to McGowan's with Cate. It was an awesome run despite having to psych myself up from 4pm cos i was starting to feel bleh and a bit of carbo loading at 5.30pm. It was quickly getting dark as we started at nearly 7pm. It was warm and there was a cool breeze that floated through the trees. The smell of fresh grass wafted as we huffed and puffed our way up to base of McGowan's. "Another day," i said. "We'll do this another day." Cate said that it would have been another 15mins running around to the top of McGowan's and back. It would have been really good to be able to do the whole thing but as the sun was setting, we decided that we'd better head back lest we get caught out in the dark.

:) That was a good 50min run.

Eunice, it's your birthday

2008-08-09T22:24:00.004+12:00

Happy 24th Birthday Eunice! :)

we've celebrated birthdays together for 11 years... i pray many more to come :) your friendship means a lot to me. :D

I was sitting in church, listening to Pastor Mike as he talked about the importance of giving. To sow and to reap. He gave the analogy of making pikelets for the 5 little people in his household. Which will want to give more to? The one with already 5 pikelets on his plate for himself or the one who takes the 5 pikelets to dish to the other 4 children? I want to be like the wee 'disher' for the things that God has blessed me with.. To hear "My faithful daughter..." I know I can only be trusted with more when i show i can be loyal with the little i have. Obedience.

I'm struggling, wishing you were here. i dont expect you to understand the decisions i make... i dont understand myself at times. but i think it's about time i spare you and i the hurt. Lord, will you wipe my slate clean?

Your strength is made perfect in weakness..

2008-08-04T23:15:00.002+12:00

it's been a while. i've been through a bit and so have you.

i had a great birthday this year, thanks to everyone who made the surprise, my lifegroup, those who texted and left messages on Facebook, those who called from Australia. Thanks to my family.. i love you guys heaps! Thank you God for bringing me through another year.. I pray the next will glorify you more than the last.

i can see clearly now, the rain is gone.

2008-06-11T21:51:00.006+12:00

It pays to be specific. I finally received the glasses Dad got made for me! :D It was DEFINITELY worth the wait. It was exactly like how i wanted them to be and they fitted puurfectly too! I'm so super duperly happy. heheee.. thanks Pa!!

Wearing glasses constantly after at least a good 3 months of not regularly wearing them regularly (and at the right prescription) made my head spin! :S Well, it's my own fault. I was very dizzy when i first wore them yesterday, and today, at around 1pm, i could feel my head pounding from the eye strain. I dont know if it is 'cause my eyes have just gotten used to seeing everything a bit outlinely-fuzzy or the degrees have dropped and it doesnt need to be as high anymore.. hmm. Anyways, because they actually do prop on the little of bridge that i have, i can peer underneath when checking scripts so that i dont need to have to look through the lens all the time.

hee.. i couldnt help myself

ahh.. the world is so much clearer now..

i just feel like it..

2008-06-09T22:56:00.003+12:00

i see but i dont get. i know you deserve better so i should go. it's like feeling as though you belong, sometimes, and sometimes not. and relying on memories isnt very reliable at all. move on, move on. i'm sorry. my thoughts are all random. if only, i tell myself, if only. but i cant change it. i think it's time for me to bring my camels back in. i just feel like it. goodbye. i'm sorry.

paperwork.... man!

2008-06-02T00:36:00.004+12:00

Today we ran ~10.5k. I almost passed out running up York Place. If i did, it would have been extremely unpleasant for Jian to drag me back down the hill. After that uphill though, the flat was like *snap fingers*! It was a good run, totalling almost one and a half hours straight. The ultimate will be Signal Hill.. but i guess for now, let's aim Warrender Street.

I CANT believe how super duperly long the scripts are taking! It's discouraging to see after an hour of transferring Rx numbers, dates and annotations to see my little pile of 'to be filed' still remain so little :( I am in need of motivation.

and this is exactly how i feel like...

i am so totally in love with David Cook's version of Always Be My Baby. Hee..

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die, no!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me

Good night. I've got a heavy head. Thank You God it's a holiday tomorrow.. :)

fragile

2008-06-02T00:31:00.002+12:00

life

it's fragile

and i am once again reminded when i remember Rebecca Tai. God speed. Will see you again in heaven, girl :)

2008-05-29T22:43:00.003+12:00

Jesus i need You.

Help me overcome this loneliness..
I'm standing on my own and the bridge is narrow
it is a long way down
will you hold my hand?
please?

run.. just run

2008-05-29T22:03:00.003+12:00

it's the sense of achievement and i'm sure the endorphines have a part to play as well :)

Thanks to the commitment of my running buddy Jian Wei Tay! I'll put up snapshots of the route once i find out how to take pictures webpage :P I was super duperly happy when we ran to the end of th 50km zone of Ravensbourne and back.. without stopping too. Hee.. It's always been a dream to get back running long distances again and it's coming true. Yes, it's finally coming true.

The awesomest running website ever!! check it out: www.mapmyrun.co.nz and you can zoom into the routes you're running and calculate the distance! Hehee.. so cools.

We did our first 11km last Sunday. woo hoo! I must admit that the lasagne didnt go too well with me, Kev, and i think it was jumping around in my tummy as i forced my legs to take one step in front of the other :S Plus it was raining some more.. it wasnt the funnest and i must admit that it was the hardest run i've ever ran. But DEFINITELY worth it :D

Half Moro Marathon 2008, here we come!!

celebration

2008-05-13T19:50:00.011+12:00

I'm so into weddings at the moment.. thanks to Jess and Josh :P Jess is getting married in.. FIVE AND A HALF WEEKS (!!) and Josh just luuuuurves weddings.

I've decided which songs i'm going to have on my wedding day. One for the first dance and the second for the bridal party. Can i use your song Kev?

And i saw one of the most beautiful wedding dresses in BRIDE NZ mag! It was straight cut with a medium flare and all along the top to slighly below the waist was an intricate bead-sparkled lace..

i couldnt help but go one a search online.. thanks to http://browse.deviantart.com :)

you know, when i was still in my teens, i was so sure that by the time i graduated, i would have my other by then. so sure that we'd work and travel the world and no matter where i go, i know God's given this other person who'd soon by another half of me.

But who knows. It's different and i'm still struggling to know the me inside. i just gotta trust and God will do the rest. So for now, toodles..

some things are just meant to be frozen in time

Give me a reason

2008-05-08T22:28:00.002+12:00

a reason to smile and laugh

a reason to love and not look back at the past

a reason for new hope, new life, new love

a reason to stand when the going gets tough

You've made my day today :)

and a reason to get out of bed and tidy my very messy room... umm.. i think i'll do that tomorrow

2008-05-07T23:44:00.002+12:00

UP CLOSE and PERSONAL

prayer meeting today was different. how.. it just was. it has always been awesome. but this time, for me personally, i just felt God minister to my inner being. He brought me out onto a spacious place :) I feel rejuvenated!!

Oh yea! My God is so good, so strong and so mighty. There's nothing my God cannot do. It's true!

2008-05-07T18:49:00.002+12:00

i feel like a walking-smiling-typing-dispensing zombie. I sleep but wake up feeling as though i havent had a wink. What is wrong with me?

:(

2008-03-15T08:28:00.002+13:00

a new addition to the family :)

2008-03-11T00:25:00.006+13:00

the cookies rolled in two by two, hoorah.. horrah...

I havent filled them with jam yet...

I used to do a lot of baking in 1st, 2nd and 3rd year. It was a way of relieving stress too. Whenever i felt sad, making something small and pretty always made me feel better.. :)

peanut butter cookies

everyone, meet Fluffy. Fluffy, meet everyone.

in an attempt to rid of eye bads

2008-03-09T23:25:00.003+13:00

i should get myself one of these..

I've always had the phobia that if i were to use tea bags, which almost everyone suggests, i'll end up with the tannins staining my skin and giving me two square brown patches over my eyes! Hehe that would be a disturbing yet extremely funny sight! I dont think the customers will be able to take me seriously..

My day

2008-03-09T22:23:00.004+13:00

I promise i'll try to update my blog more.

It's been a good Sunday. I lazed in bed till late and then got up, had my first cooked breakfast in a long long while. And then Eunice, Josh and i went grocery shopping. Asian Groceries South Dunedin was closed :( But Pak N Save wasnt! :D And the whole time there i was an innocent bystander to Eunice's and Josh's conversation *ahem* or should i say, Josh's complaint, about patients' ward notes. Haha..

Eunice, you buy a lot of random stuff. But i guess that's what makes you YOU! :D I never thought i'd generate the "sister-in-law"-ish vibe. Hee.. Wish you were here Chute!!!

And then after shopping for a loooong time, or what it kind of felt like, and minutes of trying to decide what kind of bread i'm going to buy because my loaf ALWAYS becomes mouldy before i even go through one third of it (I decided on 8 round buns.. :) which i have asked Chia and Crabs to help me finish HAHA), we FINALLY decided on lunch (it was 2ish by then) at Sampan. I though that it was an awesome amount of chicken bone today. Ah.. dont you just love days like that?

I was knackered by the time i got back. Dunno why.. and plus i wasnt even properly SHOPPING! So i took a half hour nap. I woke up at 15 minute intervals, remember my sister popping in, but the whole time, Josh was staring at this picture. I was beginning to think that there was something really strange about Josh. Trouble was that i didnt have my glasses on and it took my sister to tell me that he was playing that game again. It's this maze aiming shooting game that, i find, extremely slow. I would need a gazillion tonnes of patience to play that game. :) So good on ya, Josh!

And then around 5.30pm, i went swimming (after more than a month!) It was guuuuuud :) And then prepared tomorrow's lunch and dinner.

There are so many things i want to do. I want to go to Queenstown in June. I've never been there.. and i've been here 7 years!!!!!!! :S Yeah, let's make that a road trip :) I want to go up to Welly and spend a bit of time with Paul. It's always nice to have family to stay with. Hee..

I miss Nads and Kevin and Ben :'(

I'd love to have my own home now. A nice neat clean home. Nice crockery and cutlery. Beige and brown settee. Someone to come home to. A bit of my own space. I can smell the aroma of a nice home-cooked meal because you get back from work earlier than i do :) Maybe we can go for a walk after that and just bask in the chilly evening that God has blessed us with. And we'd work things out. Just God and you and me. And for things to start off on the right foot.

Seek first the kingdom of God..

cold turkey

2008-03-07T00:20:00.003+13:00

Today there was a phone call from the doctor to ask the pharmacist to dispense another lot of diazepam 5mg. They said that the patient is going to be travelling. So, standard protocol, dispensed.. Only to find out later that it was a fraud phone call. It wasnt the doctor at all.. it was the patient herself!! So one month of diaz, floating around somewhere.. out there..

I think i'm going cold turkey. I cant sleep.

How did i get myself into this? But now there's the price to pay.

done :)

2007-12-26T22:26:00.000+13:00

I received my registration letter 12th Dec 2007 - I'm now a registered pharmacist! 4 years of study and 1 tough internship year to get this piece of paper..

*ahem* and for the thank you speech:
To Mum and Dad for the endless hours on the phone and texts
To the rest of my family for being there
To my flat family especially Kevin and Nads, thank you :)
To my awesome lifegroup(s), Leben, Jian's, Rain's, for always being so supportive..
Special thanks to Ruth, Eunice, Jess.. your prayers and presence
To my mentor Alice for the lunchtime cry sessions at the hospital chapel
To Josh for being your patience and words of encouragement
To Indra, Uncle and Auntie Koh for teaching me how to fight this spiritual battle
To the Intern Programme managers, Trish and Debbie for all your support
To Heei, Anita, James for your kind advice, support and for being there
To my wonderful colleagues for making work fun whenever you could (Go Krystal!)
To so very many of you that have prayed for me, been there for me, Dennis, Martin, Josh K, Auntie and Uncle Then.. and so many more of you..
Please forgive me for the times that i wasnt there, if i have said or done anything wrong, i'm sorry. I will try to do better.

Last but not least, thank You, Jesus, my Lord and Savior. For without Your peace, Your Word, Your armour, i would not have made it through the year. Thank You for everything :D *loves*

thoughts

2007-12-09T17:03:00.000+13:00

I always tell myself that i'm no good at writing blog entries... that i dont have the vocab nor the ideas to interest people that read. But after thinking for a bit, i am brought back to the reason why i started blogging. Not to impress or necessarily entertain anyone, but more as a journal of life. So that friends that i dont email can catch a glimpse of what happens here in my life. Hopefully some of the things blogged will encourage friends and family, some of the pictures will serve as imprints of memories embedded in my mind, just a way to express how i feel and think.. footprints that never wash away as the tide comes in.. in my memory.. forever footprints.

There are times when i read a friend's blog and think to myself "I was there.." knowing what they went through, the roller coaster of emotions. And yet there are often times when i read another blog and think to myself "Gosh.. i didnt realise that they were going through that.." or "I wish i could help.. i wonder if they would share that with me, would trust me enough to let me know.." Then again, it's not just purely about trusting, is it? I find it hard to tell everyone that i trust everything. A few friends that i would feel ok sitting down on the floor and just bawling my eyes out, knowing that i can be so vulnerable. How do we choose who to tell things to?

I feel sad knowing you're leaving. Knowing i'll be leaving too. It became more complicated than i thought. Lasted too long than either of us would have liked it to. It has been a blessing to have you in my life. Maybe next time? I'm afraid to make promises i am not sure i can keep, but one day i know God will lead you to her. I guess now i truly know what it means when they say to love is to let go. I'm sorry. I cannot say sorry enough.. It'll be interesting to see what happens. I have to stop dwelling on what may be and move on to what's ahead. Need a clear vision.. need to pray for one.

To you. Mum always tells me of the paths that we choose and how it will affect more than just us, but those around us. I truly have loved you, sorry if i didnt express it in the way that you understood. You have been a sister to me and i will always cherish the times we spent together. I wish i could promise you that one day your prince charming will come, but i know the only person who can do that for you and me is Him. His plan is supreme and it takes me a while to get my head around it. So often i try to take things into my hands, and like what Ross Pickworth said this morning, the words of the songs that i sing do not reflect what my actions say about my heart. Mumble talks about his heartsong... your heartsong is beautiful. I can assure you that. We are both young *ahem* though you a few years younger than i. I'm sorry if i have wronged you in any way, words and or actions. Thank you for everything that you've done. Your contagious laughter and your youthfulness. It makes me feel a few years younger :)

But then again, Jesus said share...

Two more days to go!!! Pray everything is settled smoothly and that i am not called up after i've left.

Dear Prince Charming, I pray your day's good today. I told Mum i want a minimum of 2 kids and a maximum of 3 (No more oh!). So that all can fit into a 5-seater car. :) Must ok? Hehe.. Love you.

2007-12-02T13:35:00.000+13:00

Tired of the mess i created
Crawling through it all
Looking in at the sadness
Painful was the fall

Tired of the tears at night
Sleeping once the sobs
Had faded gradually
The joy that it robs

I want to leave it all behind
To run away from it all
But sin has its consequences
awaiting to befall

The numbness in my heart
run
run
run away

Your strength is made perfect in weakness..

help...

knock

2007-11-29T20:48:00.000+13:00

12 days to go..

It's Friday tomorrow. And the day after Friday is Saturday. And on Saturday, i'll be going to Chch to pick up Dad, Mum and Daniel :)

Went out for lunch with Rich today. Surprised that some people are so sure that i will cave in to Chin's request and stay. It's not 'to prove people wrong'. I spent a lot of time thinking about this. I remember when he first asked. I felt very blessed but didnt have God's peace when i told God i'll take the short-cut and just accept. So it's time to go job-hunting again...

What did Pastor Mike mean when he said "Knock on doors?" So i'm gonna go knock on doors :)

The choices are so vast and in a way, it just blows my mind away. However, for now, i'll stay in New Zealand and see what happens end of next year. Need to get a job first. I'm excited about the future but this uncertainty makes me a bit *eek*.

Miss spending time with you. Might meet you in the future.

Young ones, guard your hearts and dedicate your dreams to Him.

laughs from Co's

2007-11-18T17:07:00.000+13:00

New school semester:

At the first week:

At the second week:

Before the mid-term test:

During the mid-term test:

After the mid-term test:

Before the final exam:

Once know the final exam schedule:

7 days before final exam:

6 days before final exam:

5 days before final exam:

4 days before final exam:

3 days before final exam:

2 days before final exam:

1 day before final exam:

A night before final exam:

1 hour before final exam:

During the final exam:

Once walk out from the exam hall:

After the final exam, during the holiday:

Undeserved miracles by grace

2007-11-04T14:24:00.000+13:00

Wellington City - Wild At Heart

I clearly remember walking back home that Saturday evening after work..

Lord, i dont know what to study any more. I feel unmotivated, tired, stressed. How do i go on preparing for the exam? I'm not sure what i know and what i dont know. There is so much to cover. I cant do this on my own. Help me.. I'm scared of going to Wellington on my own. Lonely. I dont know how to get to and fro. And all the costs involved? I need to trust that You have everything under control..

Everyday after work, i'd walk by Urgent Pharmacy on my way back from work. 5% of the time i'd stroll in and say hi to James (the owner). I peeped in that day, seeing Rich behind the prescription counter. So i went in to say Hi.. and Rich

who so happened to have a list of practice questions for the interview,
(it was at the back of my preceptor handbook but had never noticed it :S)

who so happened to be meeting up with Chin's other interns to quiz each other,

which so happened to include Freddy and Brendan,

who so happened to be flying up on the same flight,
(and so i followed Freddy's car to the airport)

who so happened to also be staying at Angus Inn.
(and we shared a shuttle there)

At the Inn, the lady at the reception was helping me find a map to the M'sian High Com,

who so happened to have that day off and generously offered to take me there and later dropped me off in the city.

My exam was in the afternoon at the same time as Aki,

who so happened to be flying back that night with a little suitcase and kindly helped bring my suitcase back so i didnt have to lug it around the city for 4 hours the following day.

Coincidence? I dont think so.

Looking back, i cant help but smile with the awe of His goodness and undeserved grace. God gives me the warmest fuzzies!! :)

buildings - how different things would have been if i had
decided to move up to Wellington in first year to study Architecture...

vertical bungy in the middle of the city

artsy fartsy

the one and only Beehive

Thank You, Lord. In Jesus' name.. Amen.

make up merry

2007-10-21T15:57:00.000+13:00

the P word..

Procrastination.

*slap slap*

when i say it's time to get your butt moving, i mean it, girl!! My diary was due last Friday..
but i'm still working on it. Thank You, Lord for Labour weekend. I get a day off tomorrow!! So it's work tonight, and tomorrow. But will set aside time to study for exam and have a Sabbath :)

For 10-15 minutes as work every Saturday, Morgan will sit me down near the Natio stand and brush on a bit of colour and definition on my face. I've never thought i could wear mascara, certain that i would smear it or blink it onto my lower lids and accentuate those horrendous eye bags.. BUT with Morgan's magic fingers, there may be some hope! :P

Just on Saturdays, my eyes are blue and eyelashes extremely long :D

You are my only hope :) the awesomest ever!!

i did a bit of thinking today

2007-10-18T21:56:00.000+13:00

My sister has set this picture up as tiles on my desktop.

so where to from here? i hope you couldnt see it in my eyes. i'll just look away and everything will be ok.

and to the little girl in the pale red polka-dot dress outside Dowsons, you looked pretty.

now that i know, it gives me something else to think and pray about after the exam. what are we going to do? when will we tell her?

i dont like you pimples!! :(

it's Friday tomorrow and though i have to work whole day Saturday, Monday's Labour Day. The best part.. it's a HOLIDAY!!

praying for all you for exams. Dont forget to take Jesus with you. :)

Slowing down to live life

2007-10-07T11:49:00.000+13:00

He has set eternity in the hearts of men - Ecclesiastes 3:11

It is a sign? I'm typing away and clicked to upload a photo.. and everything i've typed disappears.

Oh child,

precious one

Let your life shine like the sun

But you say "How long til I can come home, til I can rest in your arms again?"

And I say "Not long but don't miss this life and I'l be

Waiting til then"

(Chorus)

Live with the wonder of a child

Pray with your arms thrown open wide

Love with a love that has no end

Until I see you again

Oh child, precious one

With each breath know you are loved

But you say "How long til I can come home, til I can rest in your arms again?"

And I say "Not long but don't miss this life and I'l be

Waiting til then"

Don't run through this life too fast. So fast everything spins into a blur. Don't forget this life that He has given you.

Take time to smell the flowers. Learn to love. Love a little bit more every day. It's worth it.

uncertainty

2007-09-23T15:13:00.000+12:00

lifegroup lunch at The Reef

You guys always make me laugh. Your youth, your vibrance and your innocence. Ruth and Eunice (my awesome lifegroup leaders!!) organized lunch at The Reef last Sunday. It was a cold and very wet Sunday. You wouldn't be able to tell from the smile on the girls' faces. And i had the seafood chowder. It was really yummm! Eunice and i then went jalan-jalan around town. I've also realised that i am unable to multi-task anymore. I cant shop and talk at the same time. It's one or the other. This is a bad sign :P

Lately, i've been thinking a lot about what's going to happen at the end of the year. There are so many choices, so many different paths to take. And the uncertainty that echoes them all. There's the option to stay or not to stay, in Dunedin, or still at Knox. The choice of where to go, where to apply, WHEN to apply? Only God knows, and i pray that my steps will be according to His will. So lots of prayer involved over the next few months. I would so love a good Christian environment to work in. How awesome would that be.

Oh God, only You know my thoughts and the cause of my forehead wrinkles. May they be wiped away (not using Botox) with your peace and reassurance. I love you, Lord, and i want to live for You. Seek first Your kingdom and i know i dont need to say but You know my heart's desires. I so wish that i could just stretch out my arms and be held forever by You. No need to think about the stress of work, sometimes, the burden of life, relationships, the future, the many decisions.. But i know. I know. You'll walk through this with me? Ya? Thank You for my family and friends, all those who have so faithfully supported and prayed for me. I only pray i will be able to love them in return just as they have loved me.

My exam is in exactly 35 days. 5 weeks. Doing my final assignment at the moment. It's not quite going at the pace i intended it to go but i know i'll get there! Must must self-discipline!! Ooh.. and i'm taking Saturday off too!!! :D So excited. I gotta get out of the main city so that i stop myself from waltzing back into work. Sometimes i think i'm a workaholic. Choice or no choice? Depends..

Hey peeps, just a lil reminder that we've got prayer meeting this Thursday i.e. tomorrow at 7.30pm at visitor's lounge at Elim church. Be there or be square :) (Until now i still am not sure what that phrase means :P)

you two

2007-09-12T22:12:00.000+12:00

so you're now with him..
for some strange reason, i dont really like it.
i dont know him.
and in my childish mind,
i thought we were all going to be single until we all get together with our 'someones' (at the same time!) so we could all hang out together.
remember when we had to get each other's "approvals" before we went out with a guy?
haha.. if only.
i feel so old now..
as if those days were so long ago.
all too long ago.

i look at the picture
and sigh, a sigh..
a happy one, mind you
i'm glad he's found you.
we must catch up soon..
definitely a lot to talk about :)
missing you..

2007 Deutz Cancer Society Ball

2007-09-07T23:35:00.000+12:00

My first ever charity ball :) I was pretty excited, never been to one before. Mingling with all the big-shots, haha, and just keeping to myself and the girls. I reckon the dressing up was the funnest of all. And when we got there, there was this red carpet that we had to walk up. I reached the top of the stairs and looked up just to see a photographer who snapped a picture! I hope i didnt have too startled a look :P It certainly was an experience...

The menu was stunning! Honestly.

the girls and i. we had so much fun dressing up and poking fun at each other. SO immature! :P

with Sian

All because you were there...

2007-09-03T22:53:00.001+12:00

I cant believe it's been 3 years..

All too many things happened between then. All the good times, all the funny times. The conflicting opinions during Bible study and wondering if we have all taken our turn and covered PACTOLPOWER. =) Remember? How would i have made it through without God's gift of you all..

You all truly mean very much to me. From the first time we knew each other. You are God's answer to my prayer 5 years ago. So okay, maybe a little antisocial and not really making an effort to know other people then, just sticking to the gang, but hey, at least we are now, right? Hehee..

Remember when we stayed at Grange until 3am and Jessica's always the one who has to be the bad guy and shoo everyone home? Or spin-the-bottle at midnight? And when we did the Vitamin C song and Hakunamatata for Jamie's, Susan's and Albert's graduation? Man! I thought they were old then.. but look at us now. Heh...

I lub you guys very much..

Remember this? Sept 2004

reunion August 2007

As we go on,

we remember

All the times we had together

And as our lives change,

from whatever

We will still be,

friends forever

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money

When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?

Will we still remember everything we learned in school?

I keep thinking that it's not goodbye

Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?

Can we survive it out there?

Can we make it somehow?

I guess

I thought that this would never end

And suddenly it's like we're women and men

Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?

Will these memories fade when I leave this town

I keep,

I keep thinking that it's not goodbye

Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

As we go on,
we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change,
from whatever
We will still be,
friends forever

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother - Proverbs 18:24

audit day

2007-08-23T21:32:00.000+12:00

To all my friends and family,

I'm glad you didnt give up on me. Cos i think i might have given up on myself a long time ago.

Love,
Ange

Knox was audited today. I've been feeling the pressure since a while ago. Getting things done, protocols reviewed, the place cleaned. When i woke up this morning, the first thing that popped into my head was "TODAY'S AUDIT DAY!" The place was extraordinarily spick and span when i came in at 8am. Everyone was on deck when the auditor arrived and yes, she was friendly.. but.. she still had a job to do. So when it was my turn to be interviewed, i was so nervous my hands were frozen cold (plus the fact that the heat pump wasnt on and it was freeeeeezing in the dispensary!), i did the talking first. Gives me the upper hand too. I think so anyway :) At the end of the whole thing, which took about 2 hours, the verdict:

PASS

:) Praise God! It certainly was a new experience to go through an audit when i'm still an intern. Hehe.. I'm glad it's over though :P Sleepy time..

Dad's gone back

2007-08-02T22:10:00.000+12:00

I'm back at my table. I havent actually sat here to do work for a while.. not since Dad came anyway. But he's gone home, left this morning at 7.30. I woke up before 6am, pushing the heavy sadness that was lingering over my head away.

Dad's been here for almost 2 months, and what a quick 2 months it has been. How fragile human emotions are. One moment everything's ok, just take a deep breath. Everything's fine. But the next i'm spiralling down a tunnel of big blobs of tears. But then again, the most assuring thing with Dad going home is Mum and Neil having him at home again.

Hard to believe that Neil is now taller than Pa. How tall are you going to grow?

Miss you very much.

I'll be on my way

2007-07-30T20:51:00.000+12:00

I thought i saw something different. Or felt it. Maybe not.

I guess i was just thinking too much. Bleh. I hate it when that happens..

Me and mountains and molehills.

I'm going to Chch next week for the training days, leaving Tuesday night and arriving back at home on Friday night. Which means that i'll not be able to go to King's Ball :( Oh wells.. But i truly am looking forward to going away for a bit. Even if it's classes from 8.30am to 5pm everyday. Still. Something different. Just pray that all goes well at work while i'm away. I'll do my best to tie up loose ends before i go. I really thank God for his providence of people to cover me while i'm away in Chch. I was just reminding S that i will be away next week for those few days (because she's very busy and tends to forget about my deadlines unless reminded a few times) and she suddenly realised that the dispensary will be even more short-staffed those days, especially since we had the two days when Sherif was away from work, and it was just Cecilia, S and i. Teruk betul ask me to call up people to come in to work to help out. I felt so bad asking them to come in to cover me.. I felt and others told me, that it wasn't even my responsibility to do that. Not my business and if i really cant find people, i'll feel bad for leaving and then there's that whole cycle or blaming myself for something that i didnt do wrong! But anyways, i called Mo and Shin. I really thank God for their help. Both of them came in after their last lecture at 5pm and arranged times with me. And with the current arrangement, most of the hours of the day are covered, at least 6 hours every day, with one of them able to come into the dispensary. I was stoked!! and so grateful. :) Thanks guys!!

this smile is for you

Prep for Pharmacist-Only medicines now. I'm learning a lot about the few products that i've been assigned to work on: Topical Vaginal Thrush treatments, Brondecon, Oracort and Buccalline Burner.

I'm enjoying spending time with Dad.

searching. help me find You. on my knees. please draw near to me. i want to experience the realness of You once again.

Mmm...

2007-07-29T20:21:00.000+12:00

I looked around the room, pondering what it meant to be alive. To be breathing and moving. To be given another chance to do something else today. JESUS IS MY HOPE TODAY.

I wanted to do so many things yesterday but limited by time and energy, i prioritised. Hee.. spent time with Dad and made sushi. When you've got time, check this out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_0k4Wu-IqY Made us all laugh.

Sushi's good :)

Mr Cow had a lot of company this afternoon :)

beep beep

2007-07-09T22:10:00.000+12:00

It’s not funny.

But it sure is when you guys are around.

Pastor Andrew's sermon really spoke to me on Sunday. God's timing is the best and there is still so much to learn. The times i've felt so old and wonder when i'll meet him. Maybe i just need to spread my wings and do something different. Be somewhere different.. I dont know. Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course but the Lord directs his steps.

Lord, You guide my steps. I dont want to walk my own way any more. I want to walk Yours.

I appreciate my Sundays, my day off. Do try hard to get work done during week nights so that i can actually have a day doing things i wanna do and mucking around. But the fatigue is overwhelming and it's either my brain overworking and body dead on the couch or the other way round. On Sunday, driving around South Dunedin, Dad and i were talking about the apostle Peter and how He was so on fire for Jesus. Christianity in the early days must have been so so tough. With early believers persecuted everyday and with the most horrendous torture tools! Thank you, without the long chain of people to chose to believe and share their faith, i wouldnt be here to day, knowing and having a relationship with my personal Saviour.

Thanks Annette for helping me sort out my e-tickets up to Chch for August training days. I'm looking forwards to the training days :) There's a lot of homework on mental health, an area i'm not very familiar with. So a bit of reading up to do before i go. Sadly, i wont be able to go for King's Ball this year. However, i might be able to make it just at the end, with the plane touching down in Dunedin at 8.35pm *pouts* :(

Goodnight *beep beep*

freezing... FREEEEZING!

2007-06-24T10:44:00.000+12:00

It has certainly been a cold spell. The wind howls so loudly at night and i almost expect to see a heavy snow storm the next morning. Brrr.... heaters on, blankets and warm cups of tea.

ah.. the tranquility in the morning

And to think that i was going to walk to work yesterday, and on the first step that i took out of the house, i almost slipped! The car's back window was frozen..

and the streets were so quiet..

and those who did risk going out (because they didnt have a choice since they had to work on a Saturday.. :S) may have experienced the odd bruise and sudden shift of view from ahead to the ground or sky of which, of course, they couldnt choose.

and it wasnt by choice either that i had to trudge up Pitt Street to get to the car which was parked halfway to the top. Almost lost control of the car coming down Highgate at 10kmh and brakes didnt work either. I was so scared that the car would just slide off the road and down onto the house below BUT praise God for angels :)

Admist the cold and having the flat and family away, all's been good. Nads, Josh and i had a swell time last night, acting inpromptu after work, going out for dinner at Asian then off to Hoyts to watch Fantastic 4 II. And then to Countdown cos i was craving Coke and Nads needed juice. Hee.. and then to top off the night with Tigger, The Movie. What an awesome night, doing everything that was unplanned and yet having so much fun. :D Thanks dude and dudette!!

I thank God for all the pretty rainbows that He sends my way, speaking of more than just a prism of colours.. but of promises and hopes and dreams yet to be fufilled.

Learning to let go isnt the end, it's marks the start of a new beginning.

Thanks Jess!

2007-06-03T23:50:00.000+12:00

As cheesy as it may look, i think it's sooooo cute!

I thought i'd try to catch up with what people have been up to and found this on Jess' blog. It made me smile :)

* my favourite *

I hope this makes you smile too.

Now i know why

2007-05-26T22:07:00.000+12:00

I remember when i was little.. and a bit older.. quietly tip-toeing into my parents' room when after a nightmare. And i'll just stand by their bedside or the end of the bed, in my nightie, waiting for one of them to wake up from my still presence. And they always do. And whether it was Dad or Mum, i know i'd be safe and sound from my dreams when i was beside them. I'll sleep with my back to them, but they'd always have to be facing me. So what when i looked back, i knew that they were watching me.. and i can move on, more forward, sleeping.

Now i know why i sleep that way.

I want to walk through every day, looking back and knowing that He watches my back. He does. :) Thank You.

allow me to blabber drugs

2007-05-25T21:01:00.000+12:00

It's called Tarceva.

The active ingredient is a drug known as erlotinib. I've never heard of that medicine before until 5 hours ago when a customer called to ask if it was available in NZ. It wasnt in the Shedule so guessed there wasnt any subsidy. Predictable. But it wasnt in MIMS either, and it was only when Bruce said that it has just changed status from being a Section 29 drug.

It's used in the treatment of non-small cell lung cancer and advanced pancreatic cancer. It works by blocking tyrosine kinase receptors on epidermal growth factor. It's in Phase III clinical trials too! I havent seen the literature, but it sounds very exciting.. And it's just once tablet daily for a couple of years.

It's approx $200 per tablet.

*gasp*

2007-05-18T22:15:00.000+12:00

GUESSSSSAWAAAAT?

I feel a bit sad today.

In the still of the night. Only the rumble as trains go and the splish splosh of puddles as cars whiz by. No beepings anymore.. It's quiet. I guess it's mission accomplished...

sleepless slumber

2007-05-14T20:16:00.000+12:00

Do you ever get those days when everything is so busy and non-stop that you actually have to make a concious effort to breathe? Well, today was one of those days...

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Probably a bit more than i should be doing. Maybe that's why i've been having such horrible sleep.. I'm not the kind that usually wakes up in the middle of the night to go to the loo, let alone allow mundane dreams to affect me to such an extent that i open my eyes. But that is how it has been for the past 2 nights. I've been finding it hard to sleep even when my body is zoned out already. And not just that. Tossing and turning in my sleep. Waking up at least 3 times in the middle of the night and for at least one of them to be awake and unable to go back to sleep for at least an hour. Been having really strange confusing dreams too. Waking up feeling even more tired than before i went to bed..and wanting just to pull the covers over my head and get back to bed. As Krystal sums it up in one word.. Meh.. I wondered if popping one zopiclone would do the trick. Man, i cant believe that crossed my mind! :S

But despite restless nights, days been great :) Thanks, God! :)

Different sides of me

2007-05-07T19:41:00.000+12:00

There are so many different sides of me... only if you knew.

It was a stuggle before. I have battled with the masks i found myself wearing. Faces of me that hid who i was. It was frightening as i found myself changing colours like a chameleon to suit what people wanted to hear, to paint a picture i wanted people to think of me.

And then i realised it wasnt worth it. I didnt want people to befriend me because i had moulded to be the person they wanted to befriend. I wanted them to befriend me for me.

And then it came to the question of "Who am i, then?" I behave differently with different people. I'm like a multi-faceted polygonal thingee. Please correct my terminology. With different people, i show different faces. Even though they look different to you, they're all still the same person. It's still me. Sometimes there's the quiet side, sometimes the craaaazzzzzzy side. Sometimes i crack lame cold jokes (hahahaha), sometimes i get moody and then there's pi qi. Not good. Yet, it's still me. I dont think i hide behind a mask half as often as i used to. I'm just not comfortable showing all those sides to everyone. You? Maybe =)

God, you're the only one who sees all my sides. I wonder what you think of me..

teddies forever

2007-05-05T19:37:00.000+12:00

Maybe i'm too big for teddies. But if i were to pack them away, i dont know where to keep them either. I cant imagine them in a box.. so i guess you guys will just have to stay on my bed for just a teeny bit longer.

I'm tired of feeling tired. Tired of feeling drained of energy. Tired of having lists of things to do that never end. I cross off one, and add on two. Nobody had warned me about this. No one mentioned a word that first year working can be like this.

I've got a heavy head.

I need to go to and see the dance rehearsal.

And to the graduation party.

My legs are heavy. I want to just lie down and close my eyes and not move.. and yet i can feel my strength ebb away due to the lack of exercise.

*get up! get up!* See that half-eaten bottle of Centrum up there? Yes... compliance is an issue? (Ok, just for this moment, i'm not an intern pharmacist) Then do something about it!! Get some energy!

*looks at the pile of papers on the floor* Need to finish sorting this out by tonight. Gosh, i'm going at such a slow pace. Hurry hurry!!

and stop complaining!

*hugs*

this journey

2007-05-03T22:21:00.000+12:00

I was reading Jess' latest post about marriage. It dawned on me the truth of what the author said. Marriage is a journey. It spoke so clearly to me. It's saying to the other person "I would like to spend my life journey with you. Not just to share the happy moments, or to stand together through tough times, but to be by you every step of the way."

*in awe*

Till i am able to say that to another, i think i have a lot of growing up to do.

Be a witness to my life - Shall We Dance

Cheekins it's your birthday, happy birthday Cheekins

2007-04-29T16:20:00.000+12:00

I want to invest in a good sound system. No CD player and most of my songs are on the hard drive, which i have to hook up to the laptop to use. Kevin said that i could get a good one for less than $100.. Problem is that i dont know which one is defined as a 'good' one. So... help! I'm quite excited at the thought of getting it =)

I used to be afraid to proclaim it when something good happens.. afraid that i'll 'jinx' it. But all good things are from Him and i wont hold back. In Mark 5: 19, Jesus said to the demon-posssessed man,"Go.. and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you." And so i will do the same =)

God has been and is always is gracious. Scott has left, and though i'm very sad, i know He provides. Often during tough days, i wonder why they must be. I know, i know. I'm human and often i cant see past my circumstance. But God does. I believe that's why He has allowed those times in my life. It's the first thing i do, whenever i have a tough day or a tough time, to turn to Him and cry out for help and strength. But on good days, it's easy to slip back into taking-things-for-granted mode and not look to Him. Shame on me! But now things will be different..

I WILL praise Him even more on awesome days at work!! AMEN!

That praise be always on our lips. Jesus, you are all i need. I gotta make more room in my heart for Him.

@ Lone Star

So you're 24years and 1day old =) Happy Birthday Cheekins!
Hasn't it been a journey so far =P Many more birthdays to come!!

that warm spot

2007-04-23T22:25:00.000+12:00

Dont you just love it when, after lying/sitting up in bed for a while, the place where you rest your legs become really warm and nice? that warm spot. and any inch away from that spot is cold and uninviting.. i wish i could sleep with my legs in this awkward position.. but ok, time to shuffle in. *cold*!!

I is happy

2007-04-22T20:05:00.000+12:00

We were at Cecillia's for dinner last night. Cecilia and Toh, Scott brought Bee, and i deep down inside i was worried that if Tae-Hoon brought his girlfriend, i would be the odd one out. I guess it's just getting to that stage when friends start bringing their "other halves", especially work colleagues. Oh well, guess it's just not my turn yet. Is it silly of me to have these issues bother me at times? >.<

Anyway, we played this game and it goes like this. I think it truly is an awesome ice-breaker! Remind me to tell the guys when we meet up for Jian's lifegroup. Everyone sits in a circle and chooses the name of someone else in the group.. and so that's their name for that round of the game. You can choose any name except your own. You are dealt as evenly as possible the same number of cards from a complete deck. And the aim of the game is to get rid of all your cards as quickly as you can. So everyone sits with their stack of cards faced down in front of them and one by one, each taking their turn, flips open the card on the top of their deck. If someone else flips a card with the same number, the first person who says/shouts the other's 'adopted' name wins. The loser has to take every card that has been flipped open and add it to their pile of cards. I had the best laugh since camp presentations, honestly! Everyone pointing at each other, struggling to remember the other person's name. I find that it helps when i dont look at their faces and instead remember the position of names relative to where i am. Of course it didnt help when we swapped around for the next round and adopted new names :P I like :)

Mumble... I thought he was the cutest!! I thought the movie was great! Jian doesnt quite agree :P I watched Happy Feet last night on my own after coming home from Cecilia's. Wanted to watch it with someone else but it never happened. It would have been more fun watching with my family, but this will have to do for now till Dad comes in June :D Ended up sleeping at 2.30am. I think that's why i'm so tired today. It's been ages since i've slept past midnight.. And dreamt of cute tap dancing penguins the whole night.. Hee.. (Funny, didnt dream of rabbits after watching Wallace and Grommit)

Hehehe..

Grateful

2007-04-18T19:09:00.000+12:00

A thousand times i've failed
Still Your mercy remains
Should i stumble again
Still i'm caught in Your grace
~ Joel Houston, Hillsongs

Appraisal no.1 is due on the 20th April.. and i passed with Level 3. Praise God =)

Level 1: Not yet competent
The intern attempts the activeity and requires considerable help and supervision
Level 2: Borderline
The intern achieves the activity with help and supervision
Level 3: Competent
The intern could consistently perform the activity to the required standard if they were working unsupervised
Level 4: Competent with merit
The intern consistently acheives the activity without help and displays the level of competence beyond that expected of an intern

It's been good at work this week..and last week. Thank you God it's Friday.

Thank you guys

2007-04-15T23:00:00.000+12:00

*in action*

Thanks Eunice and Jian for helping me out with food. It would not have been possible without you guys..

*scary? no?*

Thanks Josh. Great camp organisation! How are the feedback forms coming?

Thanks Uncle Then and Auntie Hilda!!!!!!! Thank YOU, GOD! YOU have made this all possible. =)

Just got back from camp. Exhausted, just finished paper work to be handed in to Sian tomorrow. Thanks Josh and Jian for accompanying me too. I know you guys were tired after the 3 days, drive back and washing the cars. I must say, seeing the dirt come off the cars when they were sprayed down was awesome! It was like watching Extreme Makeover.. Hehe.. ok, maybe not that drastic.

I want photos from camp. Wait.. will post them up when i get them of people. :)

Toodles. it's getting late and my eye bags are threatening to burst. I better lay them down to rest.

photos courtesy of Nads =D

Thank you

2007-04-06T20:56:00.000+12:00

Whoever you are, thank you :)

He's leaving..

2007-04-04T22:30:00.000+12:00

I received a text from S yesterday to say that he's resigned. I was shocked. I didnt expect it to come this soon. I had to talk to somebody, so i went to Kev's room. It hasnt been easy settling into work, and S has played a major role in keeping me sane. As Mum says, "He's the angel God sent."

It's still sinking in that he'll not be there in 3-4 weeks. I dont know how i'll do without him. He's always been that calm, it-ok factor and i must admit that i always feel so much more at peace when he's around. But now that he's going, i've gotta toughen up even more.

I agree with Cecilia when she said "I wish he'd only leave at the end of the year.." But he's been there for so long and it'll be a good change for him. I wish him the best. I know he'll do well wherever he is.

But i still wish he wasnt leaving. I feel sad. =(

Let's talk about feelings

2007-04-02T21:23:00.000+12:00

I feel like...

eating Le Lagoon's cheesecake
going on a shopping spree for pretty dresses (like the black strapless knee-length @Principles!!)
cutting my hair short
going home to Dad, Mum and Neil
resting my head upon your shoulders
going back to school
baking lots and lots of tea cookies
doing cross-stitch
walking along the beach hand-in-hand with that special someone
playing the keyboard
sleeping

The last two i can do now.. and i will. Nitey nite! :)

A reason to smile

2007-04-02T21:13:00.000+12:00

I had started this post writing how tired and *&%$ work is. But listening to Kev's songs and now overwhelmed by His love and peace.. i pressed on the 'delete' button. So the [edited] post. Sulyn sings in harmony. It's beautiful.

He carries me through the day and even in scolding, i can stand strong and let those words go-in-one-ear-go-out-the-other.

Words she say cannot hurt me because my foundation is in You alone. Only YOU speak truth into my life. Only YOUR words matter. Your favour and protection is for me.

You see, at the end, You triumph over my enemies.

You give me a reason to smile.

2007-03-30T20:50:00.000+12:00

Carried

2007-03-26T08:12:00.000+12:00

Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour

I know for sure, all of my days are held in your hands, crafted into

your perfect plan

You gently call me into your presence guiding me by Your Holy Spirit

Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life

through Your eyes

I'm captured by Your holy calling

Set me apart, I know you're drawing me to yourself

Lead me Lord I pray

Take me, Mould me, use me, fill me

I give my life to the Potter's hand

Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me

I give my life to the Potter's hand

Otago Anniversary Day today. The best part of it is that i get a day off work! It's 8.18am and i'm still in my pjs, half propped up on the tripillow with my legs under the covers. finally catching up on all the emails i need to reply and junk mail i need to delete. Paul has left for classes and Kevin's left for work. I'm not sure if Nad's awake yet but i'm pretty sure Chia's still sleeping.

J's blog always amuses me. And he uses short simple sentences :) I am amazed at the ideas that people get to write in their blogs. They can turn the simplest, most mundane things to become so interesting. It's like living in the moment. A moment that lasts just a few minutes of seconds even and yet able to extract the experience and put it into words without sounding too lo-so. I've always wanted to be able to write like that.

It's now 8.32am. I've got my day planned:
0900-1000 prepare lunch for the two boys and tidy P's room
1000-1100 go for a run
1100-1200 off to Med library to work on my homework
1200-1300 lunch with the boys
1300-1400 decide what to cook for dinner and prepare
1400-1600 type letter for bond tenancy, update learning portfolio, draw up table for medico pack Px
1615-1645 meeting with Uncle at church
1645-1745 cook dinner
1800 Cecilia and husband come over for dinner
1900++ rest and worship

It was then that i carried you.

piercing anyone?

2007-03-15T21:09:00.000+13:00

Daniel asked me on the phone just now,"So what have you been up to?" and i replied,"Hmm..work?" It feels as though one week links onto the other and next thing i know, it's another Monday. I'm working this Saturday so it'll be Sunday off and then it's Monday again. And guess what?!? This Sunday, which also happens to be when daylight savings ends (Woohooooo!), marks working at Knox for 3 months. :)

I've really nice colleagues, both in the dispensary and the shop. Praise God! And a big thank to Scott and Sherif, Cecilia, Tae-Hoon, Katrina and Karen. And speaking of shop, Jason came in to teach Katrina and i how to do ear piercing today. We were shown 2 types of guns (GUNS!! Hee..) and decided on which one we wanted to stick to. The first and older gun was quite daunting, with that staple-like bang as the earring is fired through the lobe/cartilage. I had a go with it, and twice, not just once but TWICE, i missed the mark by about 2mm. and 2mm is a huge distance when it comes to ear piercing. I honestly thought to myself "I feel sorry for my first ear-piercing customer." Then came STUDEX75. The current and future of ear-piercing. No bang, no need to aim, fully loaded, fiddle-free. And since there are 2 guns, Kat and i can get two ears done at the same time! :D But still, i dont think i'll exactly jump at the first customer who asks to get ear-piercing done. I'll let you know when the lucky Number One comes along...

I'm tired. I havent talked to you for a while.

beach weather

2007-02-25T07:42:00.000+13:00

It was beach weather yesterday, too hard to resist so we headed to St Kilda. We didn't realise that the wind was that cold until we were out on the beach. All in shorts and i-dont-need-a-jacket mode, the only way to keep warm without our extra insulation was to run around. We played PepsiCola and tag, two games i havent played in ages! The last time must have been in 2004, when we went to Brighton Beach with Jamie and Susan... The "Bad" guys won: Eunice and Martin. Good strategy Mart! We were so poofed by the end of that short game, where is my stamina?!?

It was a good day. Many more to come :)

2007-02-23T22:27:00.000+13:00

tell us the train story, Steve! :)

2007-02-21T23:37:00.000+13:00

Today i bought a dress today when i was on my 15 minute lunch break, on the spur of the moment.

I dont like office politics.

It's going to be a great day tomorrow!!

Tae-Hoon and i will be able to courier our assignment tomorrow after a check.

I start work at 8am so i better sleep now.

Goodnight!

I'm a big girl now

2007-02-20T21:14:00.000+13:00

I agree that it’s about time I updated my blog.

I have experienced the power of laying of hands. First hand! And it was on the car! No one knew what was wrong (except God) cos nothing seemed to be wrong. Our kind neighbour even tried to jump start the car but nothing worked. I was due to send my application for AA the next day (which I diligently did after what happened :S). And His miracle the following morning. I went out to the car just before leaving for work and laid hands on the car. And the car started as I turned the ignition! AMEN!

I’m working as many of you would know. And working life has just been so different from studying life (obviously! ;P). Have always enjoyed school and so i guess that makes me miss it even more. It has been very challenging and busy. This week, we're working on a 4 people dispensary but many thanks to J who's helping us take scripts in. I find it very cute how he, in the long white sleeve formal shirt and pants, brought the choices of nail polish removers from one of the customers. Everyone's pooling in resources and chipping in to cover each other. I have been allowed to do more things in the dispensary and this i can only attribute to His grace and favour. Favour He has granted me in her eyes. I can only kneel down and say "Thank you God".

I am so used to picking up the phone and greeting "Good morning/afternoon, Unichem Knox Pharmacy. Angela speaking" that sometimes i forget whether it was me who made the phone call or answering the call. I was calling Bond Center and the first thing i said when they picked up was "Good morning (and my mouth forming the "U" for Unichem).. and stopping myself to say "I'd like to ask about...". That would have been very embarrassing i think.

And my "How can i help you?" followed by the how-can-i-help-you look, anticipating the "Yes, i've got a problem..." or "I'm here to pick up a prescription...". A young man came in later in the evening and after the formalities (I was at the front computer scanning through a script that S was typing through) and said "Can i use your toilet?". Nothing wrong with asking (i know i've done that a couple of times) but it caught me a bit off guard but picking up where i'd left my train of words, i pointed to the public loo just outside Pharmacy School. When he'd left, i smiled to myself at how unexpected the question was and S nugdged me. I looked up smiling and said "What? I wasn't expecting it!" She was smiling herself.

Prayer works wonders because it's the BIG GUY we're talking to. Remember Him? The one that holds all the dust on the earth with His hand.

Shoulder knots and smelly feet

2007-02-01T21:58:00.000+13:00

I asked Paul for a shoulder massage today... since he was sitting in front of me after we had dinner together. =) I've not had a shoulder massage for a while and it felt good! Paul said the knots in my muscle isnt arent as many, though still stiff. I have also noticed that i slouch more nowadays, even when i'm walking. As if my shoulders are not 'sloping' enough already :S Not good.. I really should do something about this.

Poor him. he had to put up with my smelly feet. It's the fact that i'm wearing closed shoes without socks (because those shoes would be too tight if i were to wear socks too) almost 10 hours straight every day. Honest. My feet have never smelt bad in my entire 22 1/2 years until i started working. And yes, i've already showered and taken them off. Now my feet smell nice! :) Because i moisturised them with Isabella Rossellini's my Manifesto moisturiser.

I need another pair of shoes. What do you think? Oh wait, we are out of milk. Off to the supermarket now..

Daniel, my brother

2007-01-30T21:32:00.000+13:00

I just got off the phone with Daniel. I’ve realized that I don’t refer to him as my ‘baby’ brother as much anymore. That’s probably a good thing… for him, that is. =P Daniel, otherwise known as Dan or Neil (Ah-Neil), says the funniest things. I was just laughing when he said he wanted to be 6”4. It wasn't so much what he was saying, it was more of how he said it. I told him that if he was that tall, it’ll be hard to get him a bed since he’ll either have his head hanging off or his legs dangling over the edge. That image of that in my head made me crack up. And his reply was, “I’ll just use a chair for my legs lo. Or else I’ll get a king double and sleep diagonally.” Cheeky kid.. :P

And he went on to talk about that tall guy he saw at Parkson when he went out with his best friend, Adrian, and how his head almost touched the ceiling. “He was so tall,” he said “His girlfriend only reached up to his stomach.” I don’t know whether to believe him or not. And there was also talk about his keloid scar and how he found it hard to wake up this morning cos he slept too late last night. And his studies and the recent ujian bulanan marks. The usual, me scrutinizing his marks. “Pretty good,” I said “But have to improve your bahasa melayu.” He just cant win… ^.^

Karate Wongs. Hee

Ze 4 musketeers

I cant wait to see him again.

Yo, lil' bro. I know I tell you this every birthday and you may be sick of hearing it again, but here it is again… Don’t grow up too fast ok? Missing you heaps. Roller Coaster Tycoon is just not fun without you to share my park trophies with..

I cant believe he's turning 14 this year..

the mundane moments

2007-01-29T20:47:00.000+13:00

I walked around, searching and raking my brain trying to remember when was the last time i saw the keys in my hand. But nothing came to me. I retraced my steps, looking to see if it might have fallen onto the roadside or worse.. if the street-sweep have already taken them to ANTZ-Utopia with it. I feared for the worst. At the end of the day, it was a matter of $$$, time, but most of all, losing the trust of my parents.

I lost my keys. The only set of car keys. Oh no.. they could be anywhere!! *Think think* When was the last time that i saw them? *shaking head* I dont remember >.< What do i do now?

I texted Theresa if she could help me go to Glassons and ask. That was our last stop.And because i didnt have the house key either, i climbed into the flat through Paul's window, put my shopping down, changed out of sandals into sport shoes. And i ran. I ran as fast as i could because it was around the time that shops would be closing. We went to Glassons, Kmart, JayJays. The other shops were already closed. I was distressed. Where could they be? How could i have done such a silly careless thing? If only i had heeded the thought before i went out to take a handbag with me.

I came home flattened. Tried calling the Merc car company and they couldnt do anything. So i called Beggs and after a discussion, they realised that they couldnt get a locksmith for the car because of the model and kind. And that locksmith only works on weekdays. It could take days, up to weeks, they said. And i'm estimating at least $200 to $500. *eye bulges* Shoots. So that was that. For the day. Went to the police station and nope, no one had handed in lost keys. I went there twice. So that was it... I called Jimmy, the middle-man who sold Dad the car, and the words that came out of his mouth were "You must be joking.." I felt horrible enough already :( Beating myself up for it.. I went to sleep thinking about it, trying to recall still where i went and where it could possibly be.

And then i remembered going to Kmart. A big warehouse-y Kmart and looking at navy-coloured long pants for Paul... and... slightly distinctively, placing the keys, wallet and cellphone on the next pile.

And i woke up. I spent the next 2 hours tossing and turning in bed, asking..

"God, i'm trying to remember when was the last time i placed the keys down to look at something..".

LACE!! The Fabric Store. I had put the keys, wallet and cellphone down to look at lace.
And it was like God just planted a flash-back vision in my mind.

"But God, what if i'm wrong? What if i go there and it isnt there?"

Well, if it's not there, then i'll direct you to what to do next..

It was there. Just right next to the lace. Just as He reminded me.

I look back now in awe at the miracle. I would not have remembered if it wasnt for Him. In all that thanks and gratefulness, what stands out most of all is the fact that while i was just browsing through the many patterns of lace, trying to decide which one to buy, God was watching over me. He saw, (i believe) in slow motion, as i put the things in my hand down, only to pick all up but one. The keys. He was there. He saw in that mundane moment, the frown on my face as i compared patterns, boring not-very-important "stuff", and yet important enough to remember me. To watch over me.

And i stand in awe.

Hope

2007-01-17T21:46:00.000+13:00

You have reached out Your hand. I will go through this with You.

I'm looking through you

2007-01-14T07:15:00.000+13:00

i'm looking through you
where did you go
i thought i knew you
what did i know
you dont look different but you have changed
i'm looking through you
you're not the same

I'm looking through me and i dont see.

When the going gets tough

2007-01-08T22:38:00.000+13:00

Vows sealed on earth signify a covenant made in heaven

Tim and Kate were married last Saturday at Aramoana Beach, about 10 minutes out of Port Charmers. It was a simple but very pretty wedding. The weather was purrfect, seeing that the forecast was rain (which did POUR like 10 minutes after the ceremony ended) but God is the Creator of the world. Thank you =) I went to the wedding with Jian and Josh, and i must say that they looked good, even though they felt overdressed. Still... i dont think so. Hee...

* Working life *

I shant dwell on what's difficult or hard. Challenging myself today. So i say i trust Him always. Really? It was really hard at work today. I dont want to put the blame on anyone because different people have different characters and thus react differently if were placed in the same situation. But today was definitely not one of my best days. As turmoil churned in my heart, i wondered "What am i doing here? God, i just need You to show me You're here." If you've not noticed, it's so easy to say words of encouragement to friends when they're not feeling in tip top condition. But when it happens to you? Moi?? At that point in time, i wasnt sure what to expect anymore. And i remembered the Psalmist "Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil. For You are with me. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."

It hasnt been that long since i started working, slightly over 3 weeks, but definitely been a time of testing. And so i constantly remind myself the meaning of bearing my cross. I know this cannot be compared to so many others in persecuted countries for Jesus, but at the moment, my mission is NOW.

His grace is sufficient for me. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Hang in there!!

where it started

They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. Mark 14:20

While waiting for my sister...

2006-12-27T21:39:00.000+13:00

1. What's your phone brand?
Nokia

2. What are the last 3 digits in your cell phone number?
349

3. What does the 2nd message in your inbox say?
Hey ange! Yeah... just got here before dinner. passed the stuff to your cousin n met doris.. trying to locate the bubble tea place now :p (Jess)

4. Who's the first person under M?
Madam Janet Wong

5. Who's the last person you rang?
Donny

6. Who was your last missed call from?
(no number)

7. Who's the 2nd person under D?
Dana

8. What does the last message in your inbox say?
Ok. (Cheekins NZ)

9. Who is the second last person under J?Justin T

10. Go to your sent items. What does the 10th message say?
Ok that's good ( to Cheekins NZ)

11. Who's the 4th person under S?
Shahin

12. Who's your network provider?
Vodafone

13. How many messages are currently in your inbox? 680

14. What do you have as your background?
Mrs Fraser's Latherus (cute doggie!!!)

15. Who is the second person under R?Raina

16. Who do you have on speed dial 3?
No one... i only have speed dial 2.

17. If you're on prepaid, how much credit do you have left?
$4.36

18. Who is the last person under C?
Cynthia

19. How many bars of signal do you currently have?
4/4 =D

20. What do you have as your main ringtone?
Nokia tune. How original can a person get :P

Out into the real world...

2006-12-25T14:49:00.000+13:00

Sometimes not sure to be myself or to be my real self. me. Is that the same as the worldly me vs the more godly one? Or wait a minute... which is the real me?

Jesus said "be in the world but not of the world."

I am able to express my work day in two versions: the nice or the not-so-nice. Working life is very much more different than i thought. I found it pretty stressful and extremely busy, and i'm not sure if this is because i started at one of the busiest times of the year, the week before Christmas. But for whatever reason, the most important thing is for ME to have a positive, learning and Christlike attitude in everything i do. Especially during the first few days of work, i found myself meditating on Colossians 3:23. Just repeating the Word as i dispense, as i revise in my head what i need to remember to do, as i start my runs to Mercy, Francis Hodgkins and the Hospice. I know that wherever i am, whatever i do, God is with me. It's easier now that i've settled more into a routine, with my priority on contract dispensing. But i still have a gazillion things to learn. There's still so much to pick up on and remember, but in a year's time, i want to be able to look back and say "It has been a great year." Thank you God for my colleagues... After my first day at work, my great Dad reminded me "Rejoice in the day that the Lord has made. Today has gone. Begin afresh tomorrow." And i try to..

praying for His wisdom, mercy and grace.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Christmas isnt Christmas till it happens in your heart. What is the reason for this season? If it was all taken away, the tree and the lights, the presents and the people, the delicious turkey for dinner, that kiss under the mistletoe...

What is the reason?

The birth of a significant somebody to become a nobody. Because me, who i had thought was a nobody, was actually a somebody to Him. Jesus, thank you.

My Dad, Mum and Daniel have left today. I missed you guys very very much... :'( A lot lot lot...

So you're moving?? =(

2006-12-17T19:38:00.000+13:00

Events

2006-12-17T18:08:00.000+13:00

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans - Beautiful Boy by John Lennon

I cant believe it's over.. the Health Sciences graduation ceremony on the 9th December 2006. We were praying for good weather and guess what, by the time Dad, Mum and i came out from the Thanksgiving ceremony at Holy Name, the sun was beaming down on us!! It was awesome!! We were able to parade down George Street. It felt really odd to be one of the "red carpet celebrities" instead of being at the sideline taking pictures and waving to grab the attention of friends and family that were graduating. I thought that it would be a day when smiling would reflect how i felt inside and then later become a pasted expression on my face just cos, but i was surprised when i came home that day, smiling still, and realising that it was a genuine smile from the start till the end. And even better... my facial muscles werent sore at all!! Here's one for the road...

I love Otago!!

No, make that 3...

buddies Lye Funn, Maryam and Jean

covering our heads with the graduation cap when it momentarily drizzled

with my siblings

Aik Ming and his brother Yit Kiet (did i spell that right? >.<) came to Dunedin for a visit. He's still tall. And nope, i havent caught up and i dont think i ever will =P It was good to catch up and to be sitting in the lounge listening to foochow foochow everywhere! =) It felt just like home. I hope that you had a good trip here. Keep up that exercise up Baldwin Street! Hee..

with the brothers up Baldwin Street (can you see the trickle of sweat down the side of my face? =P)

I passed my driving test!!! So now i've got a full NZ drivers licence. *big grin* Thanks to my instructors Josh and Las, and thanks Josh for lending me your car. Now i can chaffeur you around ya? =P

with Lye Funn in Waimate

But one piece of sad news. Lye Funn has left for Waimate ='( It's hard to believe that we're all dispersed all over New Zealand: with Lye Funn in Waimate; Vic in Hawkes Bay; Megh, Maryam and Jean in Auckland. And not forgetting Fady in Sydney. I'm going to miss them a lot.. 4 years of Pharmacy completed.

And my first day of work officially starts tomorrow!!! *excited*

Stocktaking

2006-12-07T22:43:00.000+13:00

You know you've been cooped in a supermarket too long when "Cheesy Macaroni" puts a smile on your face.

One-off job. Stocktaking.

Day 2: I've never felt so alone in a while.. first counting cigarettes, on shelves and then in drawers, and then in that little corner counting boxes of chocolates. It would have been so much better if there was someone else with me. But all i could do for company is to look into the store from the checkout counters and try to catch a glimpse of another person wearing a blue vest like mine. But as the minutes passed, it got harder and harder... and eventually, i felt as though i was the only one left. It was good when i finished Location 504. Item count: 2971. Phew!

I'm feeling quite airy fairy today and i dont like that very much. :S

But as always, there's something to be thankful for. And i'm thankful for the hands to be able to work. =)

2006-11-30T13:28:00.000+13:00

A few interesting thoughts:

1. Whenever I log into yahoomail, there’s this little man with glasses and purple pants that breakdances non-stop until the page loads. It must be tiring.

2. Strange. If anyone had butter fingers, then i have butter feet. Do you know how many times i have fallen or nearly fallen in the past 2 months?!? I even slipped on a piece of ham in Countdown! *ouch* and i have the bruise to prove it. Well, maybe not anymore..

A few interesting facts:

1. I have managed to use up 1986 of the 2000 texts on TXT2000. And i thought that 2000 txts were a few hundred texts too many... guess i thought wrong. >.<

2. I am practising somersaults in the pool now! And the total volume of water going up my nose from one swim session is getting less and less. (Water only went up my nose 3 times this morning =))

3. Not so interesting.. i'm hungry =(

My parents and Daniel are arriving tomorrow *grins*

Update

2006-11-27T21:01:00.000+13:00

Ok, it's about time i updated my blog.

Chia is sitting next to me in Burns and when i saw my blog page load on her screen, i said to her "Dont bother looking. I havent updated it. If you want, you can have a look 15 minutes from now." Heh..

To date, i made 2 important passes:

1. My exams!!!!!!!!!!!!
=D X infinity (Can you see that i'm starting to build strong face muscles from grinning? Ok, i will replace 'face muscles' with the appropriate terminology once i've asked the Dent ppl)

2. Road code for driving test.
I started studying the night before. Josh said i could memorise the answers and quoting Chia "It's common sense." But with the little that i remember for Road Law theory (that was 4 years ago) and the lack of practice (4 times in 4 years... what's with the number 4??), i thought it would have been good for me to have studied through the book anyway. And so i did. I wanted to get in first thing in the morning when AA opened at 8.30am to book my practical asap. That way i can be sure to be prepared with a full driver's licence before i start work in January, which is a requirement. =S I started at 9.30pm, fell asleep by 10.45pm (it was supposed to be a "nap"). Woke up at 7am with the intention to study. Didnt happen. Back to sleep until 8am. Woke up with a jolt and decided i needed to start revising. In the next 2 hours, i ate chocolate to stay awake and took a total of 3 10-15 minute naps. And after a long queue at the AA, i passed with one mistake. =) Now i'm booked in for the 14th December at 10.15am for my practical exam. So they say practise makes perfect aye?? ;) Oh yes, downside of this, gotta see the optometrist on Wednesday. *ka-ching!*

I'm tired.

Dad, Mum and Daniel are arriving tomorrow in Chch at noon, and will be driving down on Thursday. Ok, i should go to Video Ezy now and borrow Cars so that we can watch it when Neil's down. Ooo...i cant wait to see how he's sprouted vertically.

Ok, i'm really feeling quite tired now. I think it's because i'm not used to sitting in front of a computer for more than 30 minutes, not since my exams anyway. Dups..

Happy Birthday Sulyn!

2006-11-14T11:55:00.000+13:00

Today's Sulyn's official birthday. Hip hip hooray to the awesome girl who's just turned 21!! (blowing imaginary party whistle)

Dressed up with

*Wong sisters*

and we headed for

I spent the earlier part of the night table hopping and taking pictures of

and

*the birthday girl*

and

3 J's and and A

I sat with

and had

mmm..... finger lickin' good!

and then more table hopping and talking to people i badly need to catch up with, like

But at the end of the night, despite all the

and

nah, i'm just joking... hee! :D

a toast... to the one and only...

Sulyn

Stay beautiful, girl! Many blessing headed your way.

Jeremiah 31:3 "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness."

2006-11-07T14:33:00.000+13:00

Two roads diverged in the yellow woods...and i chose the one less travelled by - Robert Frost

My cold is getting better. Now coughing up yucky stuff and blowing my nose every 3 minutes. I feel like a phelgm-making machine...honest! I do! I'm on my second box of tissues and at the rate that i'm going, i'll be on my third one in no time.

I like Justin's blog. It makes me laugh... *random me* =P

Alcohol and I dont mix well

2006-11-04T20:49:00.000+13:00

Albert Arms - P4 Class Dinner

Archers Lime. Yum but left me pretty woozy. I remember most about what happened that night. But my flatmates, Josh and Jian were pretty amused by some of the things i said. Unfortunately, that part's a bit blur to me. =P Best sleep ever tho!

It feels crap to be ill. I am not sure where I caught it from, but it started last Thursday night. First, it was the slight cold and the next thing I knew, I woke up the next morning with a full-blown flu. Headache, sore throat, blocked nose and all. It felt horrible!! I cant remember the last time that I was this ill. So for the first time in my life, I popped in pain-killers on a regular basis. First it was Codalgin, and then I decided to start with paracetamol without the codeine. So when I detoured to the supermarket, I picked up a packet of fast-acting Panadol. It helped mildly, so I went to the pharmacy and picked up Codral night and day.

I took a one hour nap this afternoon (all the naps seem to merge into each other because I’ve been taking so many >.<) and i slipped into dream mode soon after nodding off. I was in someplace that looked like Alaska. There was snow everywhere! And i was standing, looking at the view in front of me, everything was white, a vast land in front of me and a serene lake that was frozen over. I remember standing there, astonished at the scenery. A white polar bear was walking towards me from afar, and it was calling my name. And so i walked towards it. Hehe...like a scene from Brother Bear. The closer the polar bear walked towards me, the more familiar its voice sounded. It sounded... it sounded... a lot like... Kevin?? o.O I was awoken from my dream by him calling my name as he came up the stairs. I laughed to myself at how my dream and reality had collided.

I do feel much better now. I'm trying not to pass my germs around. Having my sister over for the holidays is such a joy. Poking fun at each other and laughing over the special features of 13 Going On 30. Sleeping a lot and having a lot of things in my room to tidy and rearrange. I'm doing this bit by bit =P

Randoms...

2006-10-30T01:21:00.000+13:00

I miss Piggy.

It's 1.15am and surprisingly awake to do Law. Must be Chia's sweet tea =) But i'll be going home soon.

Josh brought me my hot water bottle and Chia's tea.

It's getting quite warm in here.

I'm listening to Chinese songs with Ruth's earphones cos mine are too short. Not distracted because i dont understand Chinese.

Last paper tomorrow... the paper is the threshold i need to cross.

Going to wake up early again tomorrow to continue preparing. Dont think i can go to the gym anymore tomorrow.

I hope my eyebags miraculously clear up before our class dinner tomorrow night at Albert Arms... or please have rather dim lighting there.

To everyone who's sleeping...Goodnight!

To everyone who's still awake (I'm sitting next to Ruth and Stella, and Brendan and Eve are here too...)...Good morning!

afloat

2006-10-28T20:22:00.000+13:00

waiting... wanting... longing... drifting.

With each passing paper, i find it harder and harder to concentrate. Especially yesterday. I couldnt sit still and honestly, i could have bet that there were ants in my pants! Really!!

So i was sitting in front of the computers last night surfing and reading blogs, something i have not done in a VERY long time. Laughing my head off *ha ha plop* reading my sister's blog and some other bloggers. Some people just write the randomest things! Honestly!! But so funny!! :D I think Josh sitting next to me must have thought i'd gone bonkers! =P

My sister's coming tomorrow.... YAY!! I hope she doesnt put her cold feet on my stomach again when i'm just about to go to sleep. Hee... Me can't wait! (No, i dont the cold feet...)

Ok, ok, focus Ange!! Back to Law... *sniff sniff*

2006-10-27T21:08:00.000+13:00

My spirit stirred when i saw your picture and sadness overwhelmed me. What are you doing to yourself? Do you realise your parents love you so much and are hoping for you? It wasnt about the past anymore. What is gone is gone. Let us forgive and forget.

If i could i'd reach into that picture and take the cigarette out of your hand.

Halfway there

2006-10-26T19:27:00.000+13:00

Two down, two more to go. I've got my 3rd paper tomorrow at 2.30pm. PHCY 473B i.e. essay!!! In times like these, it's like *breathe breathe* and i remember what Ann said last year during Orals. I wonder if i should be studying with someone so that when they ask something, i am alluded to something that i do not know i do not know.

We had prayer meeting tonight and mainly prayed for the whole exam hu-ha.

Philippians 4:8-9 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

So be encouraged! I was just thinking of how there was still so much to do and to go through on Tuesday, after Paper A and so instantaneously, i walked into Glassons and Kmart. And when i was aimlessly looking at pretty bags and clothes and the "so much to do!!" on my mind made all that i was looking at hazy and blur, the song "Dont worry, be happy.." came on the speakers. I just had to smile =) When they say that God works in mysterious ways, i can vouch for that... He sure does!! =D

2006-10-19T20:28:00.000+13:00

I just deleted my post accidentally. Dups... >.<

In a nutshell, God brought me through my Orals =)

I shall update again when i am not so angry at myself for pressing the wrong key. =S

Famous?

2006-10-15T14:12:00.000+13:00

Finally...

Last Friday, we had our Elective symposium. A whole year's worth of work in one presentation and one report. The countless number of hours we spent on 8th floor and lunches that we've missed. But it's all over. Already! It's still taking time to sink in.

I went to bind the report on Friday night that was altogether 139 pages long (The real report is actually only 60 pages but we have a lot to put into the appendix =P). I carried it as though it was a sack of gold. =) So happy..

A BIG thank you to our supervisor Dr Pauline Norris, who was the biggest help EVER and a word to whoever is her elective group next year.. appreciate. Really, she is just awesome! And not forgetting Stewart for putting up with us on 8th floor as we took over the PHd room for 8 months, and Dr James Green for being such a sport with the guidelines. To my elective group members:
Jean
Lye Funn
Fady
Maryam
Meghna
Victoria

Thank you guys =D And to think that our work will be published in a journal!! *excited*

Now time to study for Orals on Thursday.

You are my shooting star

2006-10-12T09:51:00.000+13:00

To look at all things beautiful...

I saw a shooting star last night =) My first shooting star. It was beautiful and for that one moment in time, all my worries vanished. I imagine what it would have been if i decided to take a ride home instead of walking back with Ruth from the library. I would have missed that shooting star. As i was walking home, i prayed for a few people who were on my mind then, and i looked up at the vast sky. The darkness and the stars in that far off distance. To imagine that there is a whole universe out there. Suddenly feeling so small and yet so significant, because the God who made all that black and shiny pretty stuff out there know me. ME! And even more so... loves me.

Maternal instincts

2006-10-09T10:12:00.000+13:00

Spring is here!

Wish i could have a girl worth fighting for...

I've had this song running through my head ever since i first stepped into the shower 2 hours ago.

I had the best dream last night. I dreamt that i was holding a little baby boy. Probably about 8 months old.. definitely less than a year. I can still remember his warm little body as i held him close to me and how his head rested on my shoulder. I can still smell the talcum powder and milk-ish smell that baby's have. It was so real...

*sigh*

For the strength to sustain me

2006-10-07T19:39:00.000+13:00

It was a really good swim this morning. They hadnt partitioned the pool so i swam the 50m length.. FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME!! I'm so excited i cant wait to tell Ma.

Chia would know. How we were enrolled in swimming lessons at Sarawak Golf Club since we were tiny tots. It was always Saturday afternoons, after our afternoon nap. I would be so excited to go to the pool and Dad would group all the 3 of us together (Daniel was yet to come :D) in the kids' bedroom and with the air-conditioning on, Dad would say "Ok, time for a nap." I'd reply "But i cant sleep!! (too excited to go swimming) and Dad would say "But if you don't sleep now, you'd fall asleep in the swimming pool!" For a 7 year old, that made a lot of sense. To me anyway =P The Saturdays would roll by, and our class of tots grew fewer and fewer until it was just me a couple of others. My sister would go go the big pool. Ooooh... But i'd always be to scared to let go of the ledge lest i drown (when i stood up, the water would reach my ribs) and so of the many years and $$$ paid to teach me how to swim, that was it. Always to scared to let go.

But it's a different story now. Yes, i haven't totally conquered my fear of big big big big water, but i'd swim. And i swam my first 100m freestyle today!! =)) *thanks Josh for making me practice kicking with the paddle pop* I remember when i first told Mum i'd swim 15 laps froggie *thanks Jess*, she said "I knew you'd be fine. You have the stamina." I'm not sure if i agree. I think she said it because she thinks my long distance running yonks ago has somehow etched a stamina in me, forever. But...what i dont have in speed, i make up with the little stamina of mine. =) I'm happy and thankful for Him.. God gave me the opportunity to run and swim and jump around and around and around!

Moments i feel that God has made us all "endurers" and to run the race with our eyes on the Prize.

But for now, i'm not sure if i can endure this on my own.

The G.O.D. factor

2006-10-06T10:25:00.000+13:00

Your mercies are new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness! - Lamentations 3:23

We spent the entire day looking at computer screens yesterday. The Elective symposium is next Friday and i've figured out that it's not just us that are going full on with it. All the eye bags and "I'm going home to sleep" are starting to show.. well, come to think about it, it's always kinda been anyway =P But i'm really excited for that day. Our group will be the first group up of 12 group presenting that day. We'll be rehearsing our rough draft of the powerpoint presentation and (hopefully) finishing up the report today as well. Casting my nerves and anxieties unto Him.

Tony Anthony. Awesome man of God! And i was so convicted by his testimonial and sharing on Sunday night. It was particularly when he talked about what we are doing to fulfil the Great Comission. How we are in His family, His grace and His love and yet so many people around us will not be able to share Heaven at the end of our walk on earth. How awesome and precious, we are made to have a relationship with our Father in heaven and experience Him. I thought of Women's Prison Ministry and how it was something that i wanted to embark on at the start of the year. And then i heard "What about your elective group?" and my heart sank. My elective group consist of my best friends in Pharmacy School. The ones i've worked with in group projects, studied together, spent hours in Pharmacy School on weekends, sharing life together. And yet half of them do not know Jesus. I was convicted before, but now even more so. It's only a week of school left *yikes* and after that 2 weeks of exams. I may not see some of them ever again. So i know what i've gotta do. I want to do this. Oh yeah... bring it on!

*Holy Spirit, help me*

At Bennu

2006-10-03T13:30:00.000+13:00

with Eunice at Bennu. Coffee next time? :)

with the Ong brothers

It's been a drowsy-ish day for me. For some reason, although i did get 7 hours of sleep last night, i woke up feeling extremely lethargic. I really dislike feeling this way.. Sometimes i wonder if i could ask God to extend a few more hours in to my day. That's why is called wondering.

Here are a few photos taken at Bennu. Unfortunately, i didnt take a lot of photos with my camera. Which reminds me..

I need to get more photos off Eunice.

You're back!

2006-10-01T15:46:00.000+13:00

Put up your hands if you like chocolate.

I've got both hands in the air. If i had a third, i'd put it up too. Thanks Dorothy! =D Love you!

My sister's here!!! Touchdown on Wednesday and Ah Chung drove her down last Friday. I was so happy to see her i had to hold back my tears. Luckily she was teary and that gave me a reason to be "strong" and not cry. :) I can laugh when i think of it now, how Paul looked at me and said "Boy, she's excited! Dont see her like that everyday..." and i just thought to myself how i had to hold it back if not you'll get TWO sisters bawling their eyes out at the happiness of seeing each other after...one, two, three *counting fingers*...EIGHT months! She got me a pair of pink heels too! Pointy pink heels. :P And.. and... not only that... she bought a 1 litre bottle of Baileys!!! I'm no alcoholic (really!!) but i think i'll save it till she comes down again. Then i can drink and be merry and go straight to sleep.

It was a busy weekend, and she had to leave on Saturday noon cos Ah Chung is starting work on Monday. Imagine:

Boss: Yes, Ah Chung, i see you're an hour late on your first day of work.
Ah Chung: Yes, but it's just an hour. It's ok *Russell Peters style* *waves it off*

Red card

It was very nice to have them around. Ah Chung's car is so big! It's like a big dark silver mushroom... and it smells like D's car. I like your car :D It was a busy weekend, and having a test earlier on didnt help very much. I dont think i did very well in that test, my fault. Just pray i'll pass. :S We were rushing off here and there, Gina's 22nd HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY, GINA! You looked superb! *wink*, Theresa's 21st sweet sweet Theresa, HAPPY 21ST GIRL! and swimming on Saturday morning, potluck lunch before they sing "and i'm leaving in a Mazda.." For all the laughter and trying on clothes and sharing a bed and retelling the story at Changi airport...

Me miss you! I'm glad you're back. See you soon Cheekins.

pink shoezies!

2006-09-30T18:07:00.000+12:00

I realised that the black background and white font was starting to hurt my eyes. So i decided to change =)

Ifs and Goodbyes

2006-09-05T11:33:00.000+12:00

With job applications and studying and elective and everything else going on, it gets quite overwhelming some times, especially when i think of them all at once. I think it's worst when my mind, in the middle of lecture, shifts and thinks of another issue like "Oh, i need to remember to.. " It's super annoying and extremely distracting. I need another week off!!

Ok. Breathe.

Been listening to Nad's Hillsongs United "Look To You" CD. It's calming. It is. All i need is You, Lord.

I'm excited. With Lifegroups and prayer meetings and just the excitement of getting our elective together. It's gonna get busier and therefore i'm setting aside a stash of adrenaline to keep me going already. A time to be stretched and moments like these, i really just cant keep all my thoughts and emotions inside. I'd either explode or revert into a quiet mousey existence. But isnt life like that at times? I'm glad God doesnt change. He is the anchor that holds my ship even when i dont want to be held steady.

I have all these hopes and dreams and at this very moment, they look like a distant cloud away. I want to hold and grasp them, but i cant. My fingers slip right through. Then i remember Proverbs "A man plans his ways but the Lord directs his steps." I can only bow my head in obedience and walk beside the One who loves me. I wonder where i will be next year. I do not doubt that He will provide the job where He wants me to be, where i can grow, where my next mission and ministry is. I have all these questions i want answered.

Wait.

And so i do. I dont want to rush against His timing. But is it wrong to pray to know sooner? I look at my flatmates. Moments when we laugh or just talk. Having fellowship over dinner. And i this stirring in my heart says "I want to be here. I want to be with these people." This is my 4th year flatting, and honestly, i cannot thank God enough for the flatmates that He has blessed me so richly with. I look at the people around me, my lifegroup (now knowing how silly i look playing DDR. Hee =P), swimming on Saturday mornings with Kev, Josh and Ruth, homegroup and the familiarity of places and the feeling of just being at home. My second home. I look around me and i tell God, "Lord, i dont want to go away. But Your will be done."

I cannot help but psychologically and emotionally prepare myself to leave this place and the people that i have come to call Home. That i now call Family.

Stretched

2006-08-27T12:27:00.000+12:00

List of EXCUSES for not updating:
1. busy (really!!)
2. laptop not well so not very convenient

Erm, i think that's about all. Not that much of a "list" afterall..

Outreach night was more than just a student-style-reaching-out-to-people evangelical night. No no no. It IS sooooo much more than that. To me, it was the night i saw Picture A. It was so clear and vivid there was no denying it. The vision that night, as we were praying from the back of the auditorium during altar call, was the audience, covered with black charcoal stuff that you get after scrubbing a burnt pot (please ask Nadia if you have never scrubbed a burnt pot). And something that looked like a ginormous fishing net that stretched from one end of the hall to the other, all the way to the back, rested gently. And as it lifted up, it took up all the black burnt bits from the people. Redemption.

I must admit i was very hesitant to tell of my testimony when Jon first approached me. My first thought was "I'm sure someone else can relate to Ping Ping's skit better than i could." But the more i prayed about it, the more i heard the "Go", the more i saw the green light. I had no idea how i was going to go about it, all until the last minute. Though my sharing was prepared the day before, it underwent 4 major makeovers. At that point in time, i was still terrified of the thought of walking in town with passerbys knowing me. ME. The me that i didnt know existed until i came to Dunedin. I wanted the big TICK (not kutu) from God. Got it. And so i went on stage that night. The spotlight is really the best thing for nerves and stomach butterflies after anti-anxiety drugs.

Ministry team

Krystal's Food team and the Kitchen crew

What's The Point team

On Saturday night Nad stayed up till midnight helping me make curry puffs for International service although she only had 2 hours of sleep the night (of should i say "morning") before. Nadia's like the little sister i never had. A Wong as well, i think to myself "Why not?" And the night before King's Ball, we had a trying-out-hair-pleats session which was so much fun! For me anyway. If i stretched Nad's face a bit while tugging at her hair, please dont point it out to her =P I promise i will un-stretch it back into place. I wish we both could spend more girlie times together, but i trust that there will be a time for that, in the midst of studying, tests, assignments and Kevin stealing her bedroom slippers. From moments praying together, standing in the kitchen eating Nutella on toast with her cup on Milo, mix-matching clothes, moments painted on my canvas of Anzac Ave forever.

Nadia Wong & Angie Wong

Flatties (Kevin said he was going to wear a singlet, shorts and jandals)

With my brother, Paul (otherwise known as Paulie :D)

Let's dance the Barracuda!

If only i could turn back time

2006-08-24T20:59:00.000+12:00

I dont feel very good today. PMS + test + eating bad = moody :'(